I suppose I haven't always been fair to you. I've criticized your pitching ability and I've openly expressed shock when you've done well. And what's more, none of my poor behavior was on you-I've got no beef with you-it was just that you seemed to be the biggest obstacle to my man Craig [Aside: I haven't decided (or, in actuality, worked up the courage) yet whether to hit publish or not on my post about Breslow's pitching the other day. Maybe, eventually, I will.] making the team out of spring training and as such, you were fair game for all the cattiness I could muster. The silliness just got away from me and for that I apologize.
When you think about it, there really was no reason to choose Breslow over you. You have similar stories: you're both really smart guys who could easily have had perfectly lucrative and respectable careers outside of baseball but you both chose to forgo an average life and to take a big chance on a dream. You're a better looking guy (taller, stronger, nicely spaced features, strong jaw line, great eyelashes, and a pleasant smile) so that can't be it. You've displayed more personality than Breslow; all I know about Craig is that he's very, very, very competitive and you've exhibited a sense of humor (always a good thing) and you played the tuba in high school (which has to count for something.) Also, I think I read somewhere that your father was in the FBI; growing up with Mulder must have left you with at least a couple of interesting stories to tell.
And so for your thirty-first birthday, Javier Lopez, I've decided to make a sincere effort to be kinder to you. I hope you enjoy many happy and healthy returns of the day. How about that for a start? Pretty good, huh? No sarcasm at all.
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