Diversifying Operations.

Major League Baseball is a business. That's what they all say, right? It exists to make rich old men richer. We all get that. But what do you do when you've cut expenses and your revenue streams are tapped out? You branch out and forge new revenue streams, engage in new operations; the most successful corporations do it. My best guess is that MLB has taken on a contract from some (not being political) nefarious government to engage in a sleep deprivation study; with the specific purpose of finding out how long a subject takes to crack while being subjected to indirect stressors and deprived of sleep.

Currently on their website, MLB is seeking volunteers for the study by advertising a Dream Job. The description of which details a position where the subject/employee will watch every baseball game played during the 2011 baseball season and blog about it. The subject/employee will "literally follow baseball non-stop, as you will be charged with watching every single game of the 2011 season, blogging about all your thoughts and opinions, and discussing the hottest topics in baseball." Among the qualifications are strong writing skills, creativity, and being a baseball expert. They do fail to mention that the candidate will need to be able to operate a time machine.

On more days than not, there are fifteen baseball games that the subject would be required to watch with enough attention to be able to form an opinion on said game. Even if we assume that by cutting out all of the commercial breaks and pitching changes and catcher visits to the mound that the game could be compressed down to a crisp two hours, that's still thirty hours of baseball to watch in generally less than twenty-four hours. It sounds like a quick way to burn out on baseball and kill any joy that the subject originally had in the game which lead them to apply for such a position.

I do enjoy their correct usage of 'literally', though. It makes me happy.

You're Turning Violet, Victor!

Or: Do you see what playing for Detroit has done to Victor?

Or: Something clever about Avatar.

Or: Something about the photographer's blue period.

(Getty Images)

I had thought that the portraits taken on photo day at Red Sox camp were boring. Then I went searching for photos of Victor Jose and came across this and was glad for the gray seamless. I do kind of hope that this is the series they choose to use on scoreboards because how could I not?

Let Them Eat Cake.

(Getty Images)

Nate Spears isn't a prospect on the top of everyone's list but that doesn't mean he's not tops to somebody. Spears is a native Southwest Floridian and his grandparents still reside (I suppose when you start out in Florida, there's really nowhere to retire to) in the area. So with their grandson in the area it makes sense that they would stop by to visit him and being good grandparents it only makes sense that they would bring a little treat with them. Grandma Spears came bearing Red Velvet cake during her visit. I want someone to bring me cake at work. I love cake.

Plaigarism or Something Similar.

I don't remember my Covelli being much of a soundbite machine during his time in Boston. There's nothing wrong with that, of course. The quick witted-ness and cleverness required to be, say, Dustin Pedroia doesn't come naturally to everyone.

So it must seem easier when someone asks you for something soundbite worthy to just lay claim to something someone else, say Dustin Pedroia, said. My Covelli did an interview that appeared in The Thrillist San Francisco today. When asked about his weirdest teammate, he responded:

"Obviously I'm gonna say Manny Ramirez. What's funny about him, if Manny likes something, he'll take that one line and say it throughout the day. Like I'll say "It's gonna be a laser show today, get your goggles on," and then he'll just keep saying [Crisp starts using really thick Dominican accent] "Everbody put goggles on. It's going to be laser show."

Which, you know, sounds really familiar.

Crocodile JD.

Close Enough.

(AP Photo)

JD Drew is an all business, humor-less stick-in-the-mud. At least, that's what he'd like you to think. He accidentally let his guard down today with Pete Abe by telling him the story of the time he nearly went alligator hunting. Which really how you not think of this?

Wax On.

(Reuters Pictures)

There's an interesting piece in the Hartford Courant today about Jason Varitek and Jarrod Saltalamacchia; not so much for the things Saltalamacchia says (although if you want to hear what he says 'EEI has some audio) but for what 'Tek has to say.

On building trust with a pitcher:

"It comes with proving you can be relied upon day after day. It may take ten games, it may take fifty or a hundred, but Salty's going to be a good catcher for us. I believe in him as a player."

Let's hope that it doesn't take one hundred games for the pitchers to be comfortable with him or even fifty because that's a long time. But that's got to be nice to hear.

Kids Today.

I had recently thought that Jacoby Ellsbury might be turning into a hipster doofus; he seemed to have the self-important thing down and also that pathetic trying too hard thing. It seemed to be a label that fit. I would have been confident in saying that he could drop an 'über' in conversation without blinking. It turns out, though, that he may only be a faux hipster doofus. It seems that Ellsbury does not know what a record is.

While talking to the media today, he made it clear that he didn't want to talk about what happened last year by telling them "I'm going to sound like a broken recorder."

The last time I checked (and who really can keep up with this stuff), vinyl was cool again. I'm certain that Brian Wilson, king of the baseball hipster doofuses (doofusi?), has a large collection of records and would probably be glad to go on and on about the superiority of the recording quality. I guess Ellsbury's faux doofus-ness is actually a good thing. The world is a better place with one less hipster in it.

An Advertisement for Puma.

(Allen Eyestone/The Palm Beach Post)

I'm not a golf fan. I'm not a fan of the Apprentice nor do I have any sort of opinion of Donald Trump. So why might I tune into Donald J. Trump's Fabulous World of Golf on the Golf Channel on March 28? Trump will be joined in a game by Johnny Damon and Derek Lowe.

Before last year, I never really had a problem with Johnny Damon but when he chickened out about playing at Fenway last year, I suppose you'd say that I lost respect for him, or something. I can't help but think that it would be awesome if Manny got cheers and Damon was booed when they came to Fenway this year. Also, those pants. Who told him that those pants were the way to go?

1 More Day!

2 Days!

3 Days!

4 Days!

5 Days!

6 Days!

7 Days!

One Last Hurrah.

Jacoby Ellsbury was spotted out Thursday night for one last bender before beginning the daily grind of the baseball season at Nove Italiano Restaurant at the Palms in Las Vegas. Hopefully, he finds his way to Florida soon enough because the highest of Holy Days, Truck Day, is next Tuesday. Let us all keep it in our hearts.

8 Days!

We Can Work It Out.

(Tammy McKinley/Beaumont)

The Beaumont Enterprise has a couple of pictures of Clay Buchholz working out down in Texas. Just a couple of things about the set: 1) A similar picture of Josh Beckett a few spring trainings ago caused quite a hullabaloo but if a skinny-minny like Clay can be photographed with a pasty white bulge of fat hanging from his gut, it can probably happen to anybody. 2) You have to wonder if the PawSox cap was a purposeful choice and 3) He is absolutely the spitting image of his father.

9 Days!

All About Marco.

Marco Scutaro is a pitchman for a cellphone company in Venezuela, Movilnet. Over the winter the company ran a contest with the prize of batting lessons from Marco and the big event happened a few days ago.

*Media Blitz*

I can't really keep up with him in the video clip but he seems to say "Thanks to Sony Ericsson. This promotion was a dream for the fans and for me. So thanks to Sony Ericsson and Movilnet."

In this article (link in Spanish) he says, that injuries really bothered him last season but that he's now healthy and hopes to remain that way. He also says that the AL East is a really tough division and that everybody has to pull their weight.

I have minimal Italian so I would trust the translation even less than I would my rusty high school Spanish but in this interview (link in Italian) he talks about choosing baseball over soccer. He describes playing shortstop for Boston as "a beautiful experience" and "a great responsibility". His dream is to wind the World Series. And then the interview descends into one worthy of the Watster: What type of music do you like? He doesn't really have a favorite genre but he listens to Venezuelan music because it reminds him of home. What sort of food do you like? He likes Venezuelan food. How do you spend your free time? He spends it with his family. Do you have a hobby? (Admittedly, this is an interesting one.) He's got a soft spot for horses and owns three. I guess he grew out of the remote control cars.

Apple Polishers.

According to Pete Abe: Papelbon, Ryan Kalish, Jarrod Saltalamacchia, Daniel Nava, and Lenny Dinardo have already shown up at camp in Fort Myers.

10 Days!

11 Days!

12 Days!

(Getty Images)