Moment 1: Get Down Tonight.

March 1. Florida.

First came the pictures. There really wasn't any sort of explanation to accompany those photos and we were left to wonder what sort of fabulous disaster could have led to their existence. And then on the next spring training game that NESN aired there was video. And it was more than the imagination could have ever come up with.

I can't even begin to express how much the sight of Dustin Pedroia clomping around arrhytmically while his pants fall off amuses me. But if I ever need a giggle, just the thought of that scene will suffice.

And so Mike Lowell's Dancing with the All-Stars event takes it's place as my favorite semi-related to baseball moment of 2008.

Fatalism.

See? What did I tell you? Kevin Youkilis gets some points in the cool column and then almost immediately follows it up by racking up some uncool points. It turns out that Youkilis never registered his charity with the Commonwealth. It's incredibly likely that he didn't know that he had to and that this mistake falls squarely in some other officer's lap but oops.

Moment 2: Back from the Dead.

October 16. Tampa Bay at Boston.

Honestly? I thought it was over. The Red Sox were down by seven runs with seven outs left in the game. I'd turned the sound on the television off long before. I was only half paying attention to the game, while the other half of my brain was composing a eulogy for the season. But one should never lose faith in Dustin Pedroia's desire to not lose.

Through six innings Scott Kazmir had allowed two hits, both of them singles. He also walked three, hit Varitek with a pitch, and threw a wild pitch but that was it. Nothing. Bupkis. It seemed like a perfectly logical time to go to the bullpen, especially given how well they'd pitched last season.

First out of the 'pen? Grant Balfour. The first batter? Jed Lowrie--who hit a double to deep right. Oooh! Extra bases! Exciting! Oh, wait. Never mind. Varitek and Kotsay both harmlessly flew out to center. But then my Covelli (I told you he was great) got a single and Jed moved over to third. But still first and third, two out, bottom of the seventh, up by seven-it's not a really dangerous position to be in. Except for when the next batter is Dustin Pedroia. Pedroia got a single, knocked Jed in and moved Coco to third. And then David Ortiz hit a home run to right. And maybe, maybe I could listen to a little bit of Chip Caray. Maybe.

Balfour was replaced by Dan Wheeler. Wheeler temporarily staunched the bleeding by getting Youkilis to fly out to right. Papelbon (who had allowed two runs-both of them Manny Del's-in the previous inning) got it together and struck out Aybar, got Navarro to fly out to center, and struck out Gross, both of them swinging. Wheeler, however, couldn't keep it together when he came back out. First, he walked Jason Bay. Then he gave up a home run to JD Drew. 7-6. Pressure on. Wheeler responded by getting Lowrie to fly out and having Sean Casey strike out for Varitek. Once again having two outs wasn't particularly helpful for the Rays. Mark Kotsay doubled to center. And then Covelli dug himself in. He wasn't going anywhere but first base and he wasn't going there without a hit. He saw nine pitches in that at bat and he sent off foul ball after foul ball before he got one he could hit to right. A little single, just a little single. It brought Kotsay safely around from second because of some heads up base running by Coco. Tied game.

Justin Masterson was called upon to relieve Jonathan Papelbon. He gave up a single to Bartlett, got Iwamura to fly out to left, but then walked BJ Upton. Heart in throat. One out, two on, and up to the plate sauntered Haverhill. Carlos Pena *tilde implied* does not ground into double plays. He hit into six of them in 490 at bats last season. It may have been through sheer will power that Masterson got Haverhill to hit the ball at Pedroia. Pedroia tossed the ball to Lowrie for one, who passed it on to Kotsay for the second. Crisis averted.

For the bottom of the ninth, Maddon went with J.P. Howell as his pitcher. Howell started off by getting his two outs: Pedroia grounded out to third and Ortiz struck out. Tampa's bullpen struggles continued as Youkilis hit a single to third and moved to second on an error by Longoria. They IBB'd Bay. But then JD Drew hit a the ball over the head of Gabe Gross. Drew roared. Youkilis scored. And the series went back to Tampa Bay.

Ultimately, it wasn't to be. The Sox had one more win in them before the Rays went on to play Philly. But they didn't go down without a fight. And that was easily the most exciting game that I have ever half-paid attention to for the vast majority of it. And so it is moment number two of 2008.

Moment 3: Jon Lester Proves Me Wrong.

May 19. Kansas City at Boston.

I never really saw what was so special about Jon Lester. He was molasses and walked too many people. In fact, I recall thinking on the night of May 19 that I could tune into the House finale and only have missed an inning or so when I went back to the ballgame.

I must not have been paying close attention to the game because I didn't realize what was happening until the sixth inning. When I watch baseball on t.v. I run the sportsline scoreboard on the computer to keep an eye on all of the other scores, in the sixth inning of that ballgame I looked down at the clock to see if it was time to change the channel and it wasn't; it wasn't even close to 9:00. I refreshed the page a couple of times in disbelief and went so far as to open another box score to make sure it was right. And then? Then Jon Lester had my attention. The game actually ended before House was over and I could have watched most of the second half but I didn't.

It was either Remy or Orsillo that, at a later point in the season, said Lester was chameleon-like and the game he had thrown two starts previous to the no-hitter against Halladay had an incredibly positive influence on Lester, as Lester was being Halladay for that game. Perhaps they were right and it was Halladay's influence that set him straight. Regardless, at that point a new Lester seemed to exist. Obviously, people smarter than myself had seen what he could and would be long before I recognized it but my attitude toward Lester changed that night. Lester's starts went from being a chore to being something to look forward to. And I don't think I'm the only one.

So, for Jon Lester and his family, Terry and company, and what it meant to all of them, Jon Lester's no-hitter takes spot three.

P.A.P.

Did you feel that? I'm pretty sure the earth just shifted on it's axis a little bit. Jonathan Papelbon's wife has given birth to a daughter (I guess) who has been named Parker Alice Papelbon or P.A.P. And the world weeps for the child.

Moment 4: With this Ring...

April 8. Boston.

It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining. The Tigers (who had gone 0-7 on the season) were glum in the visitor's dugout. The 2007 banner seemed reluctant to flutter down over the 2004 banner. In strolled Bruins, and Celtics, and Patriots, with their respective trophies. And out the Red Sox filed, to thunderous applause and strains of John Williams provided by the Boston Pops.

After the ensemble returned from raising the championship banner in centerfield, out of left field came Bill Buckner. A teary eyed Buckner threw out the first pitch to Dwight Evans and all was forgiven--more so on his end (I've already expounded upon my theory of New England Fatalism and Bill Buckner) than on the other.

And Daisuke Matsuzaka went on to get the win over the Tigers in a 0-5 victory.

Pride of Woodland.

On a map Woodland, California doesn't appear to be a very large place. But Wikipedia informs me that the estimated population is 53,690 (it also says the place used to be called By Hell, California--they probably should have stuck with this name) so it's probably best qualified as a small city. Nearby Sacramento is home to 407,018 people; with 2,136,604 people living in the Sacramento metropolitan area. And not too far to the southwest are San Francisco and Oakland, with populations of 799,183 and 401,489 respectively.

There are plenty of people living in that little pocket of Northern California. But of all the men who call that place home, the Sacramento Bee selected Dustin Pedroia as their Male Athlete of the Year. Sometimes local recognition, from people who actually know you, can mean more than national awards. Congratulations to him.

Moment 5: Fight!

June 5. Tampa Bay at Boston.

Covelli was a good egg all season. He wanted to play but was being passed over for the younger, hunkier version. Then, David went down and Manny became the DH. For four days, Coco was the starting centerfielder. On the fourth day, Jason Bartlett dropped his knee in front of second base as Coco dove for the bag. This pissed off Coco because a similar incident resulted in him missing quite a lot of playing time and he'd just gotten some for himself. Assuming Bartlett would again be covering second, Covelli stole second the next time around and slide hard--he didn't go in spikes high, he just copped a feel--and took out Akinori Iwamura. Later during a pitching change, Maddon and Coco started yelling at each other.

The next night, Coco was batting eighth and James Shields was pitching. Covelli's at bat came at the start of the second inning. With his first pitch, Shields plunked Coco in the thigh. Coco charged the mound and all hell broke loose. The fight resulted in the suspension of eight players: Coco, Sean Casey, and John Lester from the Red Sox and Carl Crawford, Jonny Gomes, Akinori Iwamura, Edwin Jackson, and James Shields from Tampa Bay.

Was it as momentous as the Tekrod fight? No. But Coco got to call them little girls and so it's my number five moment from 2008.

Moment 5.5: A High Five for the Ages.

A personally relevant joke: There are three kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

May 14. Boston at Baltimore.



It was certainly a fabulous play. Fourth inning. Runners at first and second, one out. A long drive to left field off the bat of Kevin Millar. Seemingly gone or, at least, off the wall. Instead, the ball is intercepted in an over-the-shoulder catch by Manny, relayed to Pedroia, tossed to Youkilis and Aubrey Huff is doubled up.



But the gem of the play was the brief time before Manny returned the ball to the infield. He was carried up the seven foot wall by a force known only to Manny Ramirez, reached out, and high-fived a fan. And then returned to the dugout absolutely delighted with himself.



This was Manny at his Manny-est and deserving of spot 5.5.

Tough Economic Times.

$14 million just doesn't go as far as it used to.

Sometimes I feel a little bad about making fun of JD Drew. He seems like a sincere, down-to-earth, decent human being. These are all qualities that I would normally openly admire in a person. I guess my concern is that it seems like he wouldn't get the joke. But somethings just have to be commented on. Somethings cannot be allowed to slide.

There's a nice little heartwarming story about Christmas at the Drew's in the Herald today. The gist of the article is that his son is doing better and is starting to get the whole Santa thing. But then he very casually drops this:

"We pulled up to a Wal-Mart right after the offseason began, and there was a little miniature toy house outside with the toy display. I didn’t even notice it at the time. Later, when we took him to see Santa Claus, he told him he wanted a house with a doorbell. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out what in the world he was getting at.

Later, when we brought him back to Wal-Mart, he pointed to that house again. It had a little battery-powered doorbell to it. And you know how little kids think. So he’s all fired up about a little house that has a doorbell.”

JD Drew shops at Wal-Mart. And it wasn't just the one time emergency stop, either. Oh no. They went back to Wal-Mart. I know you live in rural, rural Georgia but really? Wal-Mart? Really?

Moment 6: the Golden Paddle.

It's Christmas and, as a result, something light-hearted is absolutely required.



February 27. Fort Myers.

It started with Brian Roberts (I'm sure there are a lot of stories that have a bad result that start out in that exact manner.) He came out of the Arizona Performance Institute last winter with a story of work-out companion Dustin Pedroia challenging some hulking football player to a game of table tennis. Word got around, Comcast Sportsnet picked it up, and, in Mikey's own words, "this illustrious event" was born. Unfortunately for Pedroia, it turns out that Mike Lowell can whip any normal person's ass at Ping Pong.

Moment 7: No. 6.

September 28. Boston.

The ceremony was delayed at least once, maybe twice, because of the rain. It rained when they decided to hold it anyway. But nothing could dampen the spirits of the club or temper the genuine joy on Johnny Pesky's face as Carlton Fisk pulled the tarp off of the right field wall.

Johnny Pesky is that scarlet B. Like a thirty-seven foot wall in left field, really small wooden seats, sitting sideways to get a good view, or a pinball machine like outfield, on September 28 he became even more a part of Fenway Park than he already was. He loves baseball. He loves Boston. And management decided to reward that loyalty by putting number 6 on the wall and forever reserving it for him.

Did he meet their usual criteria? No. Has he proven himself worthy enough over the years to deserve it? Indeed he has.

So coming in at number 7: the retirement of Johnny Pesky's number 6.

Oh, Cashie.

I really wasn't necessarily for re-signing Kevin Cash but it seemed inevitable. Now, it appears, that that is no longer an option: Kevin Cash has signed a minor league contract with the Yankees.

Why would they want him? I'm not entirely sure. A tweak at the Red Sox, perhaps? (Ha! Now you have absolutely no catching options. Go ahead, make a rash deal and send some good pitchers to Texas.) Hoping that Kottaras or Brown wouldn't be able to catch Wake and that would necessitate a massive trade by the Red Sox to get him back? He's like adding another Molina with a little extra bit of power. It's a puzzle.

Cavalcade of Stars.

The 2009 International Consumer Electronics Show will be held at the Las Vegas Convention Center from January 8-11. Manning the Sharp Electronics booth will be a stable of baseball stars including Joba Chamberlain, Prince Fielder, Matt Holliday, John Maine, Hanley Ramirez, Ryan Theriot, and our own David Ortiz. No word on if they're all shilling televisions at once or are taking it in shifts.

Happy Birthday and Other Stories.

My struggles with liking Kevin Youkilis have been well documented here. It seems like every time he gets some points in the cool column, he does something to get an equal number of points in the uncool column. Today, he gets more points toward cool.

Youkilis spent some time today(?) helping homeless kids celebrate their birthdays in Needham. Definitely a good deed. The sight of him gently wiping down sticky fingers is very sweet. Also, his wife looks adorable in that picture.

Youkilis also spent some time on an unnamed Thursday at the Guidance Center speaking to children with "emotional and behavioral imbalances." I imagine that both the writer of the article and I put that in quotes because we both have no clue what it means. Youk's reasoning for giving the speech was simple "It's a lot of fun to see the smiles on their faces and that's why I came; to have fun for an hour and pretty much give the kids some more joy this time of year." That's our Youk, spreading the Hanukkah cheer.

Moment 8: 500.

May 31. Red Sox at Baltimore.

Manny Ramirez is a lot of things. He's self-centered. He's immature. He's generally oblivious. But if you can ignore all of these things, he's a hell of a batter.

Manny left Boston in a huff; there's no doubt that it left a sour taste in some people's mouths. But Manny never did anything quietly. His time in Boston was consistently a bumpy road: trade demands every July, occasional air-headed plays, and less-than-stellar behavior. His presence was also vital to two World Series championships.

His 500th homerun wasn't quiet either. It was a 410 shot to right center. It included a happy Dominican bounce. It was before things got really bad and it's a good memory.

Contentment.

Is anyone really surprised that the Yankees got Mark Teixeira? Anyone?


If there was a team that was so out of touch with reality as to give him what he wanted, then the Yankees should have always been the prime suspects. One might wonder if there might be a backlash from the more casual fans. It seems to me that average people who are struggling to make ends meet might be less interested in patronizing a team that spends a quarter of a billion dollars and then attempts to pass the hat than they might be otherwise. Filling their shiny new stadium could become problematic.

Just: Mike Lowell? Please, please, please be healthy. And good. Be healthy and good.

Moment 9: Dustin to the Rescue.

July 29. Angels at Red Sox.

John Lackey annoys the crap out of me. It's not just the histrionics on the mound after his teammates let him down. It's not the poor loser speeches after they went home in October. It probably comes down to that stupid under bite and the pointy teeth. So when he took a no-hitter to the ninth at Fenway, I was pissed at him.

The Sox couldn't muster anything against him. They went down like a woman wearing heels on an icy sidewalk: Fly out, fly out, ground out, strike out, fly out, hit by pitch, fly out, fly out, fly out, fly out, strike out, fly out, ground out, fly out, line out, fly out, fly out, ground out, walk, fielder's choice, fly out, ground out, ground out, ground out, strike out, ground out, strike out. Then, Dustin of my heart strode up to the plate and found a way to get a ball to land in left center and a sigh of relief was heard throughout New England (at least amongst those who hadn't turned it off.) Youkilis followed him with a two-run shot and a potentially terrible, terrible game turned into a regular old loss.

It was a painful game. But Dustin Pedroia was not going to be embarrassed like that and for Dustin's heroics, this game gets spot 9 on my list.

Moment 10: Charlie's Game.

It's the time of year that people start with top ten whatever for the past year. So here they are, my top ten Red Sox moments for the year.

August 12. Rangers at Red Sox.

Charlie Zink made his major league debut. David Ortiz hit two three-run homeruns in the first inning (and very nearly got a third homerun in the fifth inning.) Kevin Youkilis hit a two-run homerun in the fifth and a three-run homerun in the eighth. They scored nineteen runs in a long, wild game.

I rewatched this game yesterday and remember it a lot more fondly than I should have. I remember it as being a fun game, very exciting. Knowing the outcome, it was bad. It was really, really bad. Texas pitched at the level you would expect them to pitch at but they were met with a equal level of suckiness from the Boston bullpen. Lopez, Aardsma, Delcarmen, Okajima, and Papelbon each trotted out there and only Okajima managed to keep Texas from scoring. It was sloppy too. Youkilis had an error at first and an error at third.

That said, it was a very memorable game. So it gets spot 10.

Dwarf.

(Lifted from Sittingstill)

Mark your calendar. Justin Masterson will be signing autographs and flashing that goofy grin at the World of Wheels auto show on January 11 from 1:00 to 3:00pm. As I'm fairly certain that Mike Timlin did this event last year, perhaps it's a subtle sign from Happy as to the role intended for him next season. Or not.

The Weather Outside is Frightful?

If it doesn't start snowing soon, I'm going to look like such a wimp. I don't know why I believed the weather people but I called out of work this morning because of *ahem* the weather. If you did the same, you might be interested to know that Lester's no-hitter will be aired for free at 3:00pm today at MLB.com. And, fittingly, it turns out that the game won This Year in Baseball's Performance of the Year Award.

Un-Baseball.

Mark Teixeira is a good baseball player. Might he be a great baseball player? Sure. Is he worth $25 million a year? No. Is he worth $22 million a year? Manny wasn't worth $22 million a year and Teixeira is no Manny. Will he get his money? Unfortunately. Do I wish it was a different team that was so disconnected from the reality of Teixeira's worth that they'd be willing to pay for him? Absolutely.

You could cry tough economic times as a reason for not going for Teixeira and you'd probably have a leg to stand on. The reality is: television ratings for baseball are down across the board. Fewer sets of eyes means less ad revenue. Moreover, Red Sox fandom may have reached it's saturation point. I don't pretend to know how much money they brought in last year but, short of dowsing for new revenue streams, that may be it. Who else could they get to part with their money, though? They've made inroads into the Asian market, Jason Bay's presence seemed to pique the interest of Canadian newspapers, but who else is there? I suppose that women make up a sizable portion of the population not particularly interested in baseball but selling 'baseball for women' would not be an easy task.

Or it might just suck in that the 'getting' of Mark Teixeira comes at the expense of Mike Lowell. When Manny left I felt like I'd been dumped. When Trot made his way in from right field that last rainy time I felt like I'd had my heart ripped out. When they kick Mike Lowell to the curb for this guy, it's going to be hard. (And if he takes Mikey's 25, I won't go all Yankee fan LaTroy Hawkins/Roberto Clemente/Paul O'Neill on him but it'll be salt in the wound.) I understand the need for a big bat in the lineup. I do. If Teixeira was something really, really special, then I could stomach it. I guess. But I adore Mike Lowell.

Thinking about it makes me grumpy, though. So instead of continued depressing rumination, high hilarity: the Season Two Premier of Flight of the Conchords.

Season 2 Online Premiere - Flight of the Conchords (US Only) - watch more funny videos

Blerg. It doesn't seem to want to work properly.

An Indian Giver of Compliments.

I've never been a big fan of old Jetes. Perhaps it's that he means so much to so many Yankee fans. It might be the showy way he plays the game. Most likely it's the robotic way he seems to live his life. Gutless. Unoriginal. Always does the right thing. Never takes a chance. Never screws up. I strongly suspect that he's never had an original thought. Anyway, he was on MLB Home Plate on XM yesterday and had this to say about highly-original Dustin Pedroia:

"He's a great player. More importantly, he's a good person. He was fun to be around [at the All-Star Game]. The thing about Dustin that I like is every game he's playing all out. I mean, he's a player that you really enjoy to watch play. I mean, I really don't enjoy it because we see enough of him but you really appreciate the way he goes about playing the game everyday. He's a spark plug for the team. He deserved to win the MVP award and he's going to have a bright future. It might be all downhill for him now. He won a championship his first year, the MVP his second year, but I'm sure he's going to have a long and successful career."

I suppose, as it was spoken, that I can forgive the 'I mean's. [Aside: I still refuse to forgive Ms. Benjamin for her 'Ya'know's. That's why I'm listening to you, twit, because I don't know. And noone can make me forgive her.] But c'mon, say something. Have an opinion. "I like him-but I don't like him-but I do like him-he's a good player-it's all downhill from here-but he's still a good player." It's silly. I know Yankee fans are fickle but you're Derek Jeter, they aren't going to crucify you. I promise.

There's No Place Like Home.

My Mom's cousin Carol used to send out a Christmas letter every year. If you imagine the archetypal Christmas letter, that would be very nearly what came in the mail--except three times worse. It was always about how wonderful the weather in San Diego was and how fabulous her children Willie and Barbie (Seriously. Those are their names.) were and how Barbie's high school water polo team had once again made it to the state finals (Again, seriously.) They were about how her Naval Officer husband was contemplating retirement, while Barbie had put her budding modeling career on hold so that she could go teach English in rural China and Willie was headed off to West Point (Still not kidding.) Being the good, kind, compassionate souls that we are it became a tradition to gather in my Grandparent's cellar on Christmas Eve for the reading of the letter. My Grandfather would read the letter aloud and led by my Uncle-a classic troublemaker-we would make fun of it and, by extension, them.

It's not that I'm against the concept of a Christmas letter. It's a good exercise for yourself to recall all the good things that have gone down for you during the past year. It helps you be grateful for what you've got. Christmas is about sharing and it's a perfectly logical way to share your life with people you don't see very often at all but still care about. And four years of varsity water polo aside, Barbie doesn't seem like a tough girl and rural China seems like a rough environment, so I am curious to hear how this escapade turned out. I guess it's nearly impossible to write about all the wonderful things going on in your life without seeming like you're bragging. And although we may be Catholic, we're New Englanders to the core and bragging doesn't fly.

Christmas cards are more our style. You buy a box of cards at 75% off at the beginning of the year and tuck it in with the tree ornaments for safe keeping. No extra sentiment besides the one provided by Hallmark, a named scrawled along the bottom, an address, a stamp, and you're good to go. It's sufficient.

Apparently, the Red Sox agree with this method of communication. No long missive extolling the benefits of being them, a simple card that says: Thought of you at Christmas time. Thanks for being there. Enjoy yourself.

Social Calendar.

The latest installment of the Red Sox social calendar: John Farrell will be speaking at the World Baseball Coaches Convention at the Mohegan Sun on January 8-10. If your stalking time is limited, he'll be presenting three talks (Maximizing Your Pitcher's Performance, Improving Your Pitcher's Mechanics, and Talking Baseball) on Friday, January 9. His first talk ends at around three in the afternoon and second begins at seven at night-prime stalking time would probably be between those hours. Raymond Fagnant, Northeast Regional Scouting Director for the Red Sox, will also be there but he is less stalkable.

Jed Lowrie: Fan of Children.

Jed Lowrie either likes children a lot or, like lots of us, is driven nuts by his family. Granted, two incidences don't make a pattern but it seems like each time he heads home to Oregon from his off-season pad in Arizona he makes certain to spend time away from the clan in the local school system. The upcoming holiday won't be any different. On December 23 Jed will be helping to coach a baseball skills clinic at North Salem High School. The clinic covers hitting, agility, pitching, catching, and infield work. Presumably, the last topic will be his area of expertize.

And They're Off.

10:00am EST (5:00am local time): The weather in Honolulu is not ideal. It's raining and windy, the humidity (starting off at near 100%) will be brutal. The huge crowd of people (22,000) will make it seem warmer and smell very oddly.

10:01:52am EST (almost 5:02am local time): Oki (running with bib 37) makes it to the start line.

11:21:43am EST (6:22am local): 6.2 miles down, 20 more to go. Oki's pace is slow, he's coming in at around thirteen minute miles. At this rate he's looking at a finish somewhere around five and three quarters of a hour. The course is slow, though-the elite male runners took over half an hour to get to this point.


12:48:35pm EST (7:49am local time): Half way there. He picked up a little bit of speed, turning in 12+ minute miles. His finish time is probably closer to five and a half hours now.


2:16:41pm EST (9:17am local time): Now it gets tough. 18.6 miles in and Oki's time has taken a hit. He's slowed to nearly fourteen minute miles, likely because he's either stopped for a breather or walked a piece of it-either way once you walk it's hard to get going again. It may well have become a battle of wills already: Oki's body telling him to shut it down v. his ability to push on. And he's got seven and a half more miles to gut his way through.


3:50:03pm EST (10:50am local time): 24.8 miles down. I've never been to Honolulu but if he can't see the finish line he can probably hear it.


4:10:26pm EST (11:10am local): Victory! With a chip time of 6:08:35, Hideki Okajima completed his first marathon. Wear your medal with pride-not many people drive 26.2 miles in a day, let alone run it. Congratulations.

And as race photos go, this one isn't too bad.

Turning Japanese.

The Red Sox have reportedly made an offer of $21 million over three years for the pitching services of Kenshin Kawakami. (Or not as it turns out.) According to his agent, he's a semi-hot commodity with twenty-eight teams having expressed interest in him. He's a little guy with nice strike out numbers but I don't really see the interest in him.

Meanwhile down in the Bronx, Brian Cashman didn't rest on his laurels after convincing C.C.'s wife to allow him to play in New York. Nope. He got right back to work: signing a league-average ex-Marlin (from the crop of chewed-up-and-spit-out pitchers they grew down there in the early 2000s) in the form of AJ Burnett to a five year, $82.5 million contract. Because the last pitcher of that ilk they dumped a bunch of money on worked out so very well for them.

42 K!

According to this article, Hideki Okajima will be running in the Honolulu Marathon on Sunday (he's not listed as an official participant, however.) I'm not sure if it's his first attempt at 26.2 but, as a runner, I'm very excited for him. The more I think about it though, the more I worry about the amount of training he would have put in during the season (an eighteen-week training program would have started back in August) and about the possibility of him getting hurt. Hopefully, he trained well and doesn't go out too fast. Finish strong.

Fun in the Sun.

The party is on down in the Dominican as David Ortiz's golf tournament got underway today. You know when some tiny little minor puzzle presents itself and you become absolutely obsessed with figuring it out? No? Just me? Well, I've been staring at this picture for an inordinately long time trying to figure out whose jersey the person in front of David is wearing. It looks like it has an "o" and an "n" at the beginning of the name. It's probably ridiculously obvious but I can't figure it out.

Unlike that stupid jersey, the instantly recognizable Luis Tiant. Tiant is, once again, up for induction into the Hall of Fame via the Veterans' Committee vote. He's nonchalant about it, though:

"Those are the best players in the world there. That's as big an honor as any player could have. I'm not going to lose a day of sleep. I'm proud of what I do. I did what I never thought I would do in my life. If they pick me, fine; if not, fine. The game gave me a lot, more than I ever expected."

This one made me smile. I was reading an article in the Daily News this morning about Pedro's plans for next season. They wrote that he hopes to play next season but that he's made no effort to find a team yet and that his dad's death was really hard for him. The article also stated that he wasn't going to be playing in the tournament, which clearly seems to be wrong, so who knows.

Ignore the man on the right. Instead, admire the oh so dapper sweater vest that David wore for the tournament. He seems to have taken the idea of the golf outfit very seriously; in fact, it wouldn't surprise me if he was wearing plus fours.

Lastly, the ruddy complexion of Sean Casey. Sunburn? Windburn? Clearly the man's ancestors came from climes much further to the north.

Oh, Theo.

I really did think that Theo Epstein was pretty good at his job. I know you're a big Dustin Pedroia fan (so am I) and I know that it ends up being a fabulous steal but a ninety-six year contract? Surely, that's a little excessive. Couldn't you have whittled down the years just a little bit? It's gonna come back and bite you.

I'll Take a 6 Year Contract for 40 Million Dollars, Alex.

Of course the video of the presser wouldn't work. Link.

Dustin Pedroia signed a six year extension worth $40.5 million today.

The boy still can't dress himself and the stupid pubic hair beard has returned but he's adorable. I want to wrap him up and take him home.

Says Theo of Pedroia: "If we had twenty-five guys like this, we'd be in good shape." Awwww.

Says Pedroia of the media: "I think you guys were all stupid for not believing in me." Responds Theo: "For the record, I agree with Dustin." Double awww.

Oh! Pookie is getting married, probably this weekend. Congratulations to him.

A Heads Up.

Come with me back to last May. It was a Monday night--the 19th to be exact. It would become an important night for Jon Lester but that didn't happen until later in the evening. We're still in the first or second inning.

It's not a particular affection for Heidi that causes me remember this (my head is generally filled with useless information) but she began babbling on about how it was her birthday. Dear Don took the thread and ran with it. He wanted to know when Jerry's birthday was but Jerry didn't want to play. Then he casually mentioned that his birthday was December 16. The inning ends. Cut to commercial.

Or not.

Jerry and Don think that they are in a commercial break and start chatting. They criticize some girl's sign, American (?) Airlines, and then Jerry turns on Don. He demands to know why Don revealed the date of his birth. Sheepishly, Don admits that he hopes that viewers will send him birthday cards with cash to commemorate the event.

So. If you wish to fulfill his request (and he is turning forty)...

Don Orsillo

c/o NESN

480 Arsenal St., Building #1

Watertown, MA 02472

California Dreaming.

Coco Crisp (What do you mean he doesn't play for them anymore?) will be the grand marshal of the Desert Hot Springs Holiday Parade in Desert Hot Springs, CA on December 7. His folks live in the area.

and

Mike Dee, Chief Operating Officer of the Red Sox and President of Fenway Sports Group, will be speaking at the CMO Summit on December 10 and 11 in Monterey, CA. The theme of the conference will be finding new "routes to revenue."

Dear Santa: Part the Fifth.

As I see it, one of the truths of the holiday season is that people seem compelled to throw fancy parties. We invite people into our homes--friends, family, neighbors, co-workers--people for whom we wouldn't make any extra effort any other time of the year but at Christmas-time we dress up for them. We make them roasts. We serve them expensive wines and fancy appetizers. The more confident among us attempt complicated desserts, the rest of us go to the bakery. China that was stored away on January 2 is dusted off and makes its annual appearance at the end of November. We chat for a few hours, reminisce, catch-up and them send them on their merry way, fat and happy. If we are going to host these expensive shin-digs, then what better way could there be to protect the wood of your credenza while they're going on than with a winter-themed Boston Red Sox table runner?

Bits and Pieces: Twinies.

Two little pieces of news on look-alikes Jason Bay and Jed Lowrie today.

Jed Lowrie has (presumably) returned home to Oregon for the holiday. While there, he stopped by his old middle school to participate in an assembly in his honor.

The Canadian Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum (who knew that such a place existed?) gives out the Tip O'Neil Award to the best Canadian player in professional baseball and among those being considered? Jason Bay. Bay took home the award twice before in 2004 and 2005. The public is encouraged to vote (they didn't make it very easy though.) The award will be announced on December 12.

Spring Ahead! (Really. It's true.)

Turkey and Cranberry Sauce? Forget it. Visions of sugar plums? Hardly. Break out the sunglasses, the Red Sox released their spring training schedule today.

The first game is on February 25 against the Twins. Then it's a month filled with the Pirates, Tampa Bay, the Reds, the Orioles, the Marlins, the Cards, the Yanks, the Jays, the Phils, the Tigers, and the Braves (with some repeats in there.) The final Florida game is against the Twins on April 2. They then play two in Queens on April 3 and 4, before jetting back home to open the season at Fenway on April 6 against Tampa Bay.

It's an occasion that requires the ubiquitous: Woot!

H-O-. You Callin' Me a Ho?

The online auction for David Ortiz's Celebrity Golf Classic has opened. The man has arranged for some truly fabulous lots. They range from the more ordinary--signed bats and balls (I really might bid for Coco's shoes-I was considering dropping a lot of cash on a shirt that he had worn but shoes? I love shoes!) to the more ritzy--vacations, play golf with Mark Wahlberg, learn to pitch from Jonathan Papelbon type prizes. The one that really caught my eye? Play a game of HORSE with David and Ray Allen.

It'd be terribly unfair and I'm pretty sure I could predict the winner right now. Let's see: Two giant men, at least one of whom is very good at basketball, and me. Yeah, that would be a short game. I had such a crush on Ray Allen when he was at UCONN, though. It would probably be a lot of fun even if it only took a few minutes for me to lose.

The bidding closes on December 5.

Here's a Story 'Bout a Man Named Werner.

The Brady Center to Prevent Gun Violence honored Red Sox chairman Tom Werner on November 9th by giving him the Sarah Brady Visionary Award at their Target for a Safe America Gala. He was given the honor because of his financial support of their effort to keep guns out of the hands of criminals by creating sensible gun laws. It's certainly a worthy cause. Congratulations to him.

Dear Santa: Goes Fourth.

Look Ma! Just like the pros wear!

You too can be the proud owner of Red Sox Crocs. Terrorized by nightmares of the galoshes your mother used to make you wear in the spring and concerned that sticking your feet in rubber shoes will once again return them to that hot, sweaty state? Fear not. The good folks at Crocs have addressed this concern by selling their product replete with holes for both cooling and wafting away the odor caused by foot-sweat.

Worried that they are clunky, hideously ugly shoes? Psshaw. They're all the rage (or, at least, they were a couple of years ago.) Don't let naysayer-fashionistas prevent you from enjoying these lovely shoes.

Happy Birthday Jonathan!

One year ago I wished Jonathan Papelbon a happy twenty-seventh birthday and embarked on this silly birthday project. Having come full circle, Papelbon turns twenty-eight today. He's an idiot and an odd-duck but I love him dearly. So, here's to a continually healthy shoulder, the safe arrival of the bambinos, and a return to dominance to 2009.

I don't recall where I found the scan from Papelbon's high school yearbook (I did edit out the girl though--seemed like the right thing to do.) Those are quite the duds though.

Also, I just wanted to point out that I didn't forget about Jeff Bailey (he turned thirty on 11/19), I just didn't have anything to say. And since I probably won't bother with Jonathan Van Every, he turns twenty-nine on Thanksgiving. Happy birthday and many happy returns to both of them.

Happy Birthday JD!

There's another new thirty-three year old today in the form of JD Drew. He's not the most interesting player to ever don the uniform but he doesn't have to be. He's very grounded; very real. I think that's why I like that picture so much: moments later when he was grabbed by a reporter (it was probably Joseph and his Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat wannabe Craig Seger) he was totally and utterly composed but here? Not so much.

So happy birthday JD. Maybe before you blow out your candles you should wish for stronger intervertebral discs.

Tim Wakefield: Nice Guy.

By all accounts Tim Wakefield is a more than decent person. He's kind. He's generous with both his time and his money. He's humble. He's thoughtful. He's unassuming, uncomplaining, and undemanding. If he had a boat, he'd probably take it out for the express purpose of searching out injured Floridian marine mammals so that he could rescue them and nurse them back to health in his backyard. We should all aspire to be Tim Wakefield when we grow up.

One person who does just that is Eri Yoshida. She's a tiny Japanese girl (5'0", 114 lbs.) who throws a knuckleball and was recently hired to pitch for a Japanese baseball team, the Kobe 9 Cruise. Whether they brought her on because of a genuine interest in her talent or as a publicity stunt to ignite interest in a fledgling baseball league remains to be seen. But perfectly gracious Wake had this to say in a text message he sent to, presumably, the Red Sox PR department.

"Hope I can see her pitch one day. I'm honored that someone wants to become me. I wish her the best of luck. Maybe I can learn something from her. It's funny that I've reached that point in my career that people want to emulate me. I'm glad I had people like the Niekros, Charlie Hough and Tom Candiotti that I could look up to. I am deeply humbled that it is me this time."

Sentiment aside, the image of Wake sitting on his back porch, hunched over a cellphone dwarfed by his massive hands, while laboriously typing his thoughtful message-because you know that he uses proper spelling, punctuation, and capitalization-instead of just calling amuses me. A lot.

You Can Read About That on the Interweb.

Dustin Pedroia put a call in to The Big Show on 'EEI this afternoon. Although he does insinuate that he's been bumping off the people who cross him, there's nothing too ground-breaking in what he says. It's an honor to even be considered for the award. He plans on working just as hard next year. Blah, blah, blah. Cliche, cliche, cliche. But then at 10:54 he drops this nugget:

"Um, I'll watch a little bit. I actually kinda learned how to get on the Internet here in the last couple months. So-"

*Blink*

He does mean here as in here in Arizona, right? Right? Not "here in the last couple of months" as in "I have been on Mars for the last decade, in a cave, with my eyes shut and my fingers in my ears." He does follow it up with a chuckle but it doesn't sound as if he's joking. If it was a joke, it would be a very strange joke to make. And they seem to take him at face-value, as if admitting to being unable to use the Internet was a completely normal thing for an individual in their mid-twenties to say.

I know that Papelbon has said that the only thing that he can do with a computer is check his e-mail but that doesn't sound as shocking. Pedroia went to college for God's sake. Even if all he did was play baseball and study underwater basket-weaving, surely he would have been exposed to computers and the Internet. He can't be that oblivious, can he?

It boggles the mind.

Another One for the Shelf.

Once again congratulations go out to Dustin Pedroia. This time for being named the AL MVP.

*Update*

Looking at the photos from Pedroia's presser, I realized just how much I miss baseball and my second baseman.

This, however, is a truly awful photo:

Happy Birthday David!

David Ortiz turns thirty-three today. What else is there to say but happy birthday? The man is kind and generous. He's well-liked. He's effective when healthy. And he has his very own sense of style.

A Moveable Feast.

A heads up: The date of the Lowell Spinners dinner has been changed to January 12, 2009.

They also mentioned that the recipient of this year's Dick Bernandino Alumni Award will be Jed Lowrie. Jed was a decent shortstop but this part of the announcement:

"Overall, Lowrie hit .258 with two home runs and 46 RBI, playing stellar defense and filling the void created by Julio Lugo."

seems a little harsh on poor Julio.

Anyway, congratulations to Jed.

Dear Santa: III.

Break out the bicycle pump, have I got a product for you this week. Barring a collision with buried sticks or pointy rocks, it's an inflatable sled. No hills? No snow? No worries; it pulls double-duty as a pool float. And what's more, it's reportedly great fun indoors as well.

Happy Birthday Julio!

Julio Lugo turns thirty-three today. Lugo has his problems but he does have being a good teammate going for him-he seemed to always be one of the first to congratulate someone else on the team. So, happy birthday and let's hope 2009 turns out to be a better year.

Sox on the Town.

The other night (Thursday to be precise) Theo Epstein delivered the key note address at Enterprise Bank's Celebration of Excellence. As part of his speech, Epstein issued five points to a better business. They are: 1. Setting a clear standard. 2. Build a clear process. 3. Surround yourself with good people. 4. Focus on the big picture. And 5. Embrace your values. So there you have it, you too can run a business like Theo Epstein.

If you're willing to head down to the wilds of Worcester (I have a cousin who lives in Worcester and the street he lives on is not paved) tonight, you could catch a glimpse of Jason Varitek. Varitek will be appearing at the Y.O.U. ball at the DCU center. Y.O.U. is an organization that provides services and programs for at-risk youths.