Coming Apart at the Seams.

The last we heard Ryan Lavarnway had headed down to Fort Myers early in order to get some early work in with Gary Tuck. Now we're hearing that Gary Tuck has decided to retire. So the question is: Ryan, what did you do?

Zing!

Ben Cherington was complimented on his tie before the Red Sox Town Hall. "I was trying to be sexy," he said.
— Brian MacPherson (@brianmacp) January 17, 2013

*Snort* Well, he does have a nice bum. 

Scintillating.

I was under the impression that Terry Francona wasn't an idiot. Guess I was wrong.

Francona's book, Terry Francona: The Red Sox Years, (titles are hard) comes out in a week. In order to create buzz, an excerpt of the book will be released tomorrow and because some people can't wait, exactly who these people are remains a mystery but they must be out there, there was the release of an excerpt of the excerpt today. And today's astounding revelation? Baseball is a business and owners, as businessmen, are super interested in their investment not losing money. 

"Our owners in Boston, they’ve been owners for 10 years. They come in with all these ideas about baseball, but I don’t think they love baseball. I think they like baseball. It’s revenue, and I know that’s their right and their interest because they’re owners — and they’re good owners. But they don’t love the game. It’s still more of a toy or a hobby for them. It’s not their blood. They’re going to come in and out of baseball. It’s different for me. Baseball is my life.”

 Here's a tip, my lovely: If you're going to a good old fashioned bridge burning, don't show up with a magnifying glass and a dry leaf.

If it's meant to be insulting, it doesn't do a very good job because insults generally lose their power when you take them back before you've even finished issuing them. It just comes across as very childish and honestly? I've had enough of childish baseball players. 

I generally liked Francona. I appreciate the work that he did during his tenure here. But the problem is that writing the book makes him a rat and rats are the most contemptible of people. 

Who's Your Nanny?

Maybe not an important piece of news but Brian MacPherson tweets:

Rubby De La Rosa's grandmother was Pedro Martinez's nanny.
— Brian MacPherson (@brianmacp) January 11, 2013

It's six degrees of Pedro Martinez and it is fabulous.

Reason to Tune In: David Ortiz.

Maybe it's not the most forward thinking reason to watch this baseball team and maybe I'll have to turn in my membership card to the "Fans of Logical Baseball" club but I love David. He is a joyful man who loves playing and I love watching David play. Even when things are going really poorly, he's never more than one at bat from getting back on track. (That is true, of course, for every player but I've never groaned at the thought that David was on deck.) Plus, he's good people and good people are fun to root for.

He was having a very good year before the ankle failed him. Hopefully, it heals well and he can get right back into it.

Reason to Tune In: the Bullpen.

Cherington gets a lot of crap for his relief pitcher fetish but the group that he has assembled for this year (assuming health, return to form, mechanical issues that can supposedly be easily fixed) looks to be a solid group. *Knock on wood, turn in three counter-clockwise circles while hopping on one leg, and spit on the ground*

Because it seems inevitable that some calamity will befall Andrew Bailey, trading for Joel Hanrahan makes sense. He's a solid pitcher, the walks might make you a little queasy but there's talent there. I liked No-Neck, he seemed to genuinely want to be here, if he returns to what he was in Houston, he's a good guy to have on your team and is, therefore, a fair price to pay. And modern baseball theory says that you need a closer who isn't going to stub his toe and then miss three months.

If we assume that Daniel Bard was not forever traumatized by the disaster that was him starting, he returns to the role in which he excelled. If he was forever traumatized (well, we'll always have that bases loaded strike out of Nick Swisher at Yankee Stadium), then you've got Andrew Bailey to play setup. And while Bailey's recovering from his stubbed toe, you've got Junichi Tazawa. If Tazawa can come anywhere close to what he did last year, it will lengthen the 'pen by quite a bit.

Then you've got your lefties in Breslow and Miller, who can be useful pitchers. And Freddy. Who knows what's going on with Freddy but two years ago he did well in the role of long man and it seems likely that that's where he'll be this year, so it might work out.

Now getting to the bullpen might be an adventure on most days but they are positioned to work out well. Hopefully.

Good Intentions.

I suspect that everybody's new year starts out with good intentions. I'm going to quit it with the chocolate. I'm going to exercise more. That painful, purply growth on my finger? Totally going to get that checked out this year. That sad, mostly abandoned blog? I'm going to write stuff for it.

But then four days go by and try as you might you just can't find anything to write about; a couple of minor league signings and interest expressed in wily, older players who might be past their prime but nothing super interesting. (Of course, there are those signings and trades that you chose to not have an expressed opinion about at the end of last year but whatever.) So lack of anything interesting to write about and, sad to say, lack of general interest in this team has left the sad abandoned blog in it's sad, abandoned state.

Therefore, I have given myself an assignment: Five awesome things about the 2013 Boston Red Sox. I figure that since I've generally been good at talking myself into things (I've almost almost talked myself into believing that I like John Lackey. Almost.) this might get me excited about this team, in addition to getting me to write something. There might, however, be a delay because first I'm going to have to think of five awesome things about this team. But I'm totally going to do it. Tomorrow or, you know, Sunday. Definitely some time.

And as for the chocolate, there are seven left in the box but I can't very well just throw them out. I did find a rogue Hershey Kiss today, which was very exciting.