Down in the Dungeon Deep.

Sigh.

I really don't know what to make of this team. They shouldn't be this bad but they are. You think that things couldn't get worse and then they do. Is their pitching really this awful? I suppose so. Have they forgotten how to hit? It would sure seem that way. Is there a quick fix in sight? I doubt it.

Trading for Hamels would be a fool's errand. This team isn't one good pitcher away from being worth my time. They need a whole new rotation and pretty much a whole new bullpen. They need a full time right-fielder, a third baseman who doesn't need to be platooned, a first baseman, a new DH, and a left-fielder who doesn't need to worry so much about playing left field. 

I guess you just have to play out the string because I can't see what pieces are here that anyone would want.

Texas Will Make You a Man.

Rain Delay Theatre is pleased to announce:

At tonight's performance the role of

Starting Pitcher

will be played by

Eduardo Rodriguez.

Mr. Rodriguez began his career in youth productions in his native Venezuela.  He then joined a regional touring company that performed up and down the east coast where he frequently starred as Starting Pitcher. Tonight will mark Mr. Rodriguez's major league debut. He wishes to thank God and his family for their support. Welcome to the company, Mr. Rodriguez.

Put A Sack Over Their Heads.

This team ought to be embarrassed.

I love David but he seems cooked. It would appear that the pundits were correct when they said that Ben guessed wrong when he invested in Richard. And I don't know if it's just because his shoulder is still bothering him but Manly has become less Manny and more just a waste of a roster space.

Why Can't You Behave?

Well, gentlemen, here's the thing: I didn't go into the season with high hopes for this team. You weren't supposed to be able to pitch to save your lives but if you like offense, at least you were supposed to be fun to watch. And I was okay with that. You weren't going to be world-beaters but you were going to beat the hell out of baseballs and watching that would be a good time.

However, you, gentlemen, are not fun. It is painful to watch you play baseball. So why should I bother?

Be Like the Bluebird.

You know, if they hadn't played well at the beginning of April, this sudden inability to do anything related to baseball in an acceptable fashion, wouldn't bother me. Going into this season, I was prepared for this team to be terrible but then they were fun for awhile. Now not so much and it's going to be a long season.

Perfectly Terrible.

So...this is pathetic.

At least that was a little bit better. So just a lousy game and not a remarkably lousy game. Well done boyos.

Oh, Bright Fair Dream!

Not to put any pressure on him or anything but I had a dream last night that Happy pitched a complete game shut-out on forty-seven pitches. It probably wasn't prophetic though because the debate afterward was: Which was more impressive, Masterson's forty-seven pitch game or the Pirates plating eighty-four runs in their game.