Come On, Dover!

Ace & Hype Man 🗣 pic.twitter.com/4GbVHavMFw

— Boston Red Sox (@RedSox) October 28, 2018

He's like a street corner preacher.

On He Plods, Against All Odds!

Welp my darlings. It is 3 a.m. 3! You should score some runs now. I think that that would be a fabulous idea. Really and truly. Thanks.

*UPDATE* 3:30 a.m. : This is Manea levels of ineptitude, isn't it? Except that Andy's already been played because the NL is stupid.

Second thought: Might we be seeing the chink in Cora's armor? This is not a good look for a team.

*UPDATE* 3:31 a.m. : Pfft.

Hey Martha!

The Boston Red Sox have won one hundred games. It's a hell of a thing. Sure, they've had their issues but it's quite the accomplishment. Well done, boyos. Now...onward.

When I Get My Name in Lights.

I'm not going to talk about the game that is going on right now. Whatever. Losers. (Seriously, all the winning makes the occasional loss annoying.)

Since the man is coming to town tomorrow (and I seem to be less annoyed with his telling tales out of school behavior) it seems noteworthy to point out that one Mr. Terry Francona has really and truly hit the big time.

His name appears, not in lights, but in little squares as 60 across in today's Tribune crossword.

Like I said, the big time.

It's a Hit!

Sondheim to the rescue! (And maybe a little credit to Andy.)

Old Friends.

I really like Hanley. So the news that he's donezo, makes me sad. And to do it for Pedroia? Blech.

A couple of years ago, Dustin Pedroia ceased to be amusing and a lot of the time he seemed like he would prefer to be somewhere, anywhere, else. And then he lost me completely last year by turning on his team to defend the King of All Jackasses.

Hanley, on the other hand, was great fun. He seemed to be enjoying himself. He seemed to want to be here.

And I know that that sort of thing shouldn't be a consideration but whatever.

If you must bring back Pedroia, there were plenty of other options. You could send Devers down to learn third base. You could LET SWIHART GO!

Maybe it makes the team better (I doubt it Dustin Pedroia is maybe serviceable. Maybe.) but it certainly makes the team less fun.

Oh, Me of Little Faith.

I thought somehow Alex Cora had still not realized that Joe Kelly is a terrible idea, that Joe Kelly sucks. Turns out: What do I know?

I Know Things Now.

You're never as good as you look on your good days and you're never as bad as you look on your bad days. But since this right here looks like a good day for Drew Pomeranz, the kid is in trouble.

Also, this team is going to lose a series to the Royals. At the end of the day the Royals are going to have nine wins and Boston is going to have been responsible for 22% of them. That is just tragic.

Pfffft.

The magic was fun while it lasted. Let's hope this isn't the start of an epic slide.

Over-Promise and Under-Deliver.

So here's the thing: I can't write my promised post. Even if I could yell "April Fools!" afterward, I just can't bring myself to tempt fate like that. I've tried. I can't do it. I can't even get myself to say the words aloud, let alone write them out for all posterity.

Sorry.

A Request.

Afternoon boyos,

I really really need you to win tonight's game. You see, I have a fantastic post for tomorrow; a lovely little bit of braggadocio that for fear of angering the baseball gods, could only be published on April Fool's Day. If you don't win, then it will go to waste and I will be sad.

So Slick, please don't suck today. Thank you.

Opening Day.

The truth is: It doesn't really make a lot of sense but I'm having a difficult time working up enthusiasm for this team. We'll see but I think that this team is built to disappoint.

I hope that I'm wrong.

1918.

Maybe I was just wasn't thinking straight because I was tired from shoveling and cold from the lack of power or maybe it's true that time heals all wounds but I only got half of this answer on Jeopardy! last night. And the team that I did get? The Cubs.

Also, no matter how much they try to pretend otherwise: Theo is a jackass.