Jacoby Speaks or Damn it! Why does he have to be so adorable?

I've been on a bit of an emotional roller coaster lately for which I blame Mr. Ellsbury.

I was lying on my kitchen floor a couple of weeks ago when it occurred to me that I was beginning to develop a crush on him. It started with his scoreboard fixing shenanigans, then he seemed to be such a sweet kid during the whole fall run, and finally the stories about him going home to a hero's welcome. He was just too cute for words.

But the crush needed to be squelched; not just because it was silly or because he is too young for me but because it signaled a return to my fourteen-year-old self. I've long suspected that any semblance of maturity on my part was just a front for a psyche that was still a young teenage girl who lives in a fantasy world and develops crushes on movie stars. She couldn't be let out-for the good of everyone.

But then he switched his agent to Scott Boras and all was right in the world. It turned out that he wasn't such a nice guy after all, just human. That I could live with.

But then yesterday I read this:

"I am just trying to stay in shape and be ready for spring," Ellsbury said. "I am actually taking yoga classes, to keep stress off my joints. It's
great. You have these big strong guys and little old ladies all doing
it--it's not just sitting on your butt, stretching. I am telling you, yoga
is tough."

from this and it all came back to me.

It's not as strong, for sure, so maybe I'll be able to defeat it if I don't really hear anything about him for the next couple weeks. Or maybe just the act of publicly acknowledging it will kill it dead. If this isn't the case, then I would like to apologize profusely in advance should my inner fourteen-year old be unleashed unto the world.

In other news, over at NYYfans they were making fun of the hype that surrounds Jacoby with a bunch of Ellsbury-is-God type posts. Some were actually quite funny. A couple of my favorites:

1. Jacoby Ellsbury is so fast that he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.


2. Jacoby Ellsbury doesn't wear a watch, he says what time it is.
3. (My personal favorite) Didn't you know? Jacoby Ellsbury is so fast that he can play center field and left field at the same time.

Note: I would have gone back to look for the authors of those but the Santana thread is a beast over there and I couldn't find a search feature.