Next Up: The Great Twin Brethren.

(Here's where I admit that I'm nervous about the title because I don't want to do anything that causes them to lose any more than they already have. The poem, while a call for peace, would be an excellent rallying cry for the Twins but since they're off to just as awful a start as my boys, I think that it would be fair to call them brethren.)

Alright, boyos. Perhaps it's foolish of me but I still believe that you are a better team than this. I still believe that it's early and that you're one good run away from being in contention. Of course, I believed into September of last year that if things would just break your way, then you'd be golden, so I might not be the most reality-based person.

But the Central was so hard to predict this year. Chicago and Detroit made big splashy off season acquisitions, Cleveland and the Twins stood pat, and the Royals got worse. Would any person, sane or otherwise, have predicted that Cleveland and the Royals would have winning records into May? That Chicago would be that terrible? That the Tigers and the Twins would sputter? I picked the Twins to win the Central because they seemed the least flawed and it was hard to imagine them not making the post-season and then promptly forgetting how to play against the Yankees.

Their offense has not been good. Mauer is out with the vague diagnosis of bilateral leg weakness and his replacements, Drew Butera and Steve Holm (Steve Holm!), are not Joe Mauer. Justin Morneau has been pitiful. Jim Thome, while no great shakes, is on the disabled list with a strained oblique. The only one whose been able to do much of anything for the Twins is Jason Kubel.

It seems like it would be difficult to say but the pitching has been even worse than the offense for Minnesota. Joe Nathan abdicated the closer position earlier in the season but Matt Capps has done a fine job. Scott Baker who pitches tonight for Minnesota has been one of their better pitchers. His repertoire is a low-nineties fastball, a slider, a curve ball, and a change up. He's a fly ball pitcher who is generally around the plate and gets a decent number of strike outs.

Brian Duensing is the lefty scheduled to pitch on Saturday. He's been the other bright spot for the Twins. He also throws a low-nineties fastball, slider, curve ball, and change up. Duensing, however, is a groundball pitcher, who isn't going to strike out the world.

Everyone's favorite, Carl Pavano takes the ball on Sunday. Given the way he's pitched so far this season, it really would have been perfect if the Yankees had seriously thought about bringing Pavano back. He throws a fastball, a slider, and a change up; the velocity on Pavano's fastball, however, has dropped to the high-eighties which is pretty close to the velocity of his change up. He's been giving up a lot of hits and not getting many strike outs.

Francisco Liriano goes on Monday. Although he no-hit the White Sox the other day, he hasn't been pitching very well overall. He throws a low-nineties fast ball, a slider, and a change up but not with great authority. He gives up a lot of walks and doesn't get many strike outs.

So let's have at it boys: Battle of the most disappointing.