The Company You Keep.

So, monkeys, that was...something.

Teams that you currently have a better record than: Kansas City, San Diego, and the Cubbies. That's it. Those teams may have players who are saintly creatures that pull their cars to the side of the road to carry snapping turtles across the street but they're not the sort of baseball team that you want to emulate. I promise.

And, while he may be a jackass, it's not Valentine's fault. It seems like every other day he's either getting putrid starting pitching or a bullpen that needs the umpire to give the batter a two strike handicap in order to get an out and then only if they're super lucky.

I was ready to give Clay a pass for yesterday. A noted headcase, how could you expect him to pitch well when faced with his own mortality like that? (There but for six or seven years, less if you continue to pitch like this, goes Clay. I thought the ceremony was lovely, by the way; the different era jerseys a particularly nice touch.) But Fredo? Someone's got to calm that boy down. He gets all hyped up and then tries to be a closer instead of just pitching.

With the exception of Ryan Sweeney's chin, the outfield is not pretty. When they come up to bat I find myself urging them to only make one out and it'll count as a victory. And any time a ball falls in right field, I mumble that JD would have gotten it. But reinforcements are coming! Marlon Byrd! Yipee! *Hangs head in shame.*

Much to my surprise, there are times when Mike Aviles has looked like an actual shortstop. But Kevin Youkilis can barely move and Pedroia seems a step slower. I'm head-over-heels for Shoppach so clearly the man can do no wrong but for Saltalamacchia the whole catching the ball hasn't really worked out and hitting the ball hasn't really worked out. Plus, he could really use a haircut.

But maybe this is the sort of loss that exorcises September's demons because clearly, they haven't gotten over it. Or maybe we should all squeeze our eyes shut and pray for rain.