Things To Sustain Us on a Baseball-Less Monday.

This post may do nothing to prove that I am not a terrible person but it turns out that Bud Selig is a tease and I need something to amuse myself on a baseball-less Monday.

Getty Images

Reuters Pictures

Getty Images

I swear that it's not like I've spent any time at all examining Mark Teixeira's hair but I don't remember it being that dark. It looks so very, very wrong and flat that I suspect it's a bad home dye-job. And there's nothing as sadly pathetic as a man who dies his hair. (Of course, now that I've written it, it probably means that it's always been that color and I look crazy and petty. If I was wrong, it would prove though that I don't spend my time mooning over horse face.)

Reuters Pictures

I don't care one way or the other about the majority of Yankee players. I really find it impossible to dislike Curtis Granderson (He hits a home run off of Josh Beckett? You just have to remember him crying over having to play for the Yankees and it's all forgiven.) There's a special level of disgust toward Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez, no doubt about that. But the player I most enjoy seeing fail--call it Kevinyoukilitis--is Joba Chamberlain. If he's sad, well all the better.