Jason and the Argonauts.

Jason Varitek. What do you say? Over in Boston Magazine, John Wolfson poses the question "Why, despite his diminished baseball skills, do people continue to root for Jason Varitek?" His conclusion? It's because Varitek shoved his glove into Alex Rodriguez's simpering, ugly, little mug. And as ultimately satisfying and fantastic as that moment was, it's a shame that that decision has come to represent his time in Boston (and I don't argue with the idea that that is Varitek's signature moment) if only because he's not particularly proud of it.

Fisk has his home run and the heart-squeezing hope as he was bouncing down the first base line. Schilling has his bloody sock and that sense of sacrificing himself for the greater good. And what does Varitek have? Inciting a melee and, as Yankee fans are quick to point out, he didn't even take off his mask. As a fan, it was beautiful but it doesn't really say wonderful things about Jason as a person.

I suppose that you could spin it that he protects his pitchers. And to a man, they seem to love him. Plus, he's the most well prepared catcher in the history of the game. Ever.

But back to the article, I think the writer is asking the wrong question. The question shouldn't be "Why do we root for Jason Varitek?" The answer to that is obvious. Why did Gabe Kapler get a hearty round of applause on opening day last year despite playing for a divisional rival? Has any one, anywhere, in any line of work, ever been given the leeway that David Ortiz got last season? Why did Kevin Millar get his own at bat music? Pedro? Nomar? Dave Roberts? He was one of twenty-five guys who set a region on it's head and he played a pivotal role on that team. Plus, he shoved a very creepy, emotionally under-developed, freak.

The more interesting question would be "Why wouldn't we root for him? What would a member of that team have to do to draw the ire of the Fenway crowd?" I do believe that Damon is the only one who has fallen from grace. But Johnny Damon's sin wasn't that he joined the Yankees. Johnny Damon's sin was that he joined the Yankees after firmly declaring that there was no way he would ever sign with the Yankees. And we believed him. His sin was in making fools out of us.

Which brings us around to Manny (because everything goes back to Manny). I really hope that he doesn't get booed in June. Manny's act wasn't new two years ago. He probably wanted out before he signed the contract. He sat when he didn't want to play. But he was always forgiven because of his bat and his 2004 mojo. Manny had his own little drum and did his own little thing but Manny never lied. We may not have chosen to believe it but he was never happy in Boston. Manny was never anything but Manny.

So if the lie is what sank Damon, what did Manny do that was on par with it? His faults were well known. The warning came from the people of Cleveland: Manny Ramirez will break your heart. I can't think of a reason to boo him. And yet I worry about it. Every single one of those reporters who jumped on Nomar for joining the media because he didn't make their jobs easier (looking at you Sean McAdam) will take the opportunity to pick on Manny because they're petty and he was difficult. Having stirred up a frenzy with the dingbats that make up the listening population of 'EEI, Manny will get an undeserved Johnny Damon welcome.

The front office types who are in charge of such things should put together a nice retrospective of Manny's accomplishments while with the Sox to combat the press' inevitable campaign on the off chance that the hamstrings are feeling good on those days.

End of the Line.

It looks to be the end of era. The Cubs gave Kevin Millar his walking papers today. If he hooks on with another team or he ends up hanging out with his family for the season, I hope he enjoys whatever he ends up doing. And if he's looking for a broadcasting job, NESN should give him anything he wants.

Lost in Translation.

Yesterday, Junichi Tazawa was sent to Dr. James Andrews after experiencing 'tightness' in his elbow. Word came down today that he'd been diagnosed with a sprained ulnar collateral ligament. Tazawa said that he'd pitched through a similar problem when he as still in Japan and that he wouuld have played through it. A little gun-shy after their recent dealings with Daisuke Matsuzaka, the Sox sent him anyway. Says Francona:

"We’ve been talking to him the last several days about some tightness, and again, his version of tightness because of the language barrier, and how he’s been throwing, we just thought we needed to have this looked at."

So to review: When a Japanese guy says that he has tightness in his elbow he really means "I done spraint my elby-bone so it goes in the opposity direction."

Dead Horse.

Well, I suppose that that is one way to play baseball. But it's probably not the best way. And, yeah, I know: pitching and defense, run prevention. Whoop-di-do! It's not easy, however, to look at that lineup and believe that they could overcome a three-run deficit. So it really doesn't help when the bullpen is just terrible. Ah well, there's always next year.

How About a Little Cheese?

Dear Mike Lowell,

I think that you're fantastic. You know that right? I like you as much as it is possible to like someone that you don't know. I also get that you're unhappy about the way things have worked out and I understand that you want to play. But you've got to stop whining about the situation.

"It's the organization's call not mine. To go to Boston and not play? Same thing, right? If I go it's not like I'm going to play right away and if I don't go it's night like I'm going to play right away. I'm not playing either way, so it's all up to them."

It makes you sound like a petulant child and makes it really hard to continue to like you. I very much doubt that the front-office types sit around plotting ways to make your terrible, terrible life worse. Sometimes it's best to just bite your tongue and pretend to be an adult.

Thanks in advance,
Liz

An Impossible Dream.

I have a soft spot for AAAA guys; guys who stick it out in triple A either because they love the game or they don't know anything else. I very much wish that I had the courage to continue to pursue a dream I had since I was a kid instead of just doing the practical thing and trading it in for a steady income. I badly want them to succeed, to be rewarded for their hard work. Of course, that means that by the time I'm really pulling for a guy, he's got very little chance left.

After today's game, NESN showed the documentary A Player to Be Named Later about the 2001 Indianapolis Indians, AAA affiliate of the Brewers. Given my penchant for spoilers, I watched with dread knowing that it wasn't going to turn out well for most of them. But I did learn a couple of interesting things about Marco Scutaro: 1. In 2001 he was really into remote control cars and 2. His wife is a stunningly beautiful woman.

The Final Countdown.

This is what I get for making fun of Mike Cameron's optimism. As I was trying to find out exactly what a cubit is before the skies open, I happened to see the weather forecast for opening day: partly cloudy with a high of sixty-seven. I suppose that I can take comfort in the fact that it won't be sixty-seven degrees at 8 o'clock at night and that it is supposed to be windy but being wrong is annoying. One more week.

A Nice Young Man.

Jacoby Ellsbury has the reputation for being a nice young man. He's a little bit vain but "quiet", "considerate", and "polite" are the words most often used to describe him. Case in point: Mike Reiss is temporarily covering the Sox for ESPN Boston while Joe McDonald is off writing about the Bruins. A football guy, Reiss wrote a blog post about how much more access to players baseball writers have than football writers. At the end of piece he relates the story of how he introduced himself to the players before the game against the Marlins and his explained his deal. As Reiss was leaving after the game, the oh-so-polite Ellsbury made a point of asking him how his first day went. Awww.

Mike Lowell and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Last Year and a Half.

Mike Lowell's woeful off-season/pre-season continued today when he fouled a ball off his knee in his first at bat against Toronto. It turned out to be nothing too serious--just a bruise--but that's probably little consolation for a person in need of at-bats to prove that he can still be of some use to a baseball team. Just looking at the photos (from AP) causes sympathy pangs in my wonky knee.







Mike Reinold is known as an innovative clinician. Here he shows off his newest technique: wedgie therapy; designed, I can only imagine, to suss out the fakers.

Mike Cameron: Hanging His Hat on Global Warming.

*That looks terrible but it's a video.

There's been quite a bit of complaining (read: whining) about opening day being turned into opening night. Admittedly, when they first announced that ESPN had co-opted the game I joined the chorus because it's going to be cold. This is reality.

And Mike Cameron? Well, Mike Cameron is from Georgia. While it was chilly in Georgia this past winter, the man has no concept of what that wind will be like. You see, Mike Cameron is hoping that the temperature at game time is going to be seventy. If it's seventy degrees at 8 o'clock at night on April 4 in Boston, then Curt Schilling is going to owe Al Gore an apology.

Just for reference: The record low for April 4 is 17 degrees. And if they had stuck with the day game? Well, the record high is seventy-five.

Outdoorsy.

John Lester did a photo spread/interview for Outdoor Life magazine.

I am trying very hard to not be judgmental. I eat meat. I have no problem with hunting for food. Ambushing a deer--camouflaging both your body and your scent and then hiding, even though you have a vastly superior intellect--is hardly sporting, though. If you need to prove your studliness, go kill a rhinoceros (well, maybe not a rhino--they're endangered) or get in a boat, row down the Nile, and try to kill a hippopotamus. If the hippo doesn't kill you and you don't end up dying from some terrible disease, that's an accomplishment worth bragging about. Africa not in the budget? Go kill a wild boar, without all the fancy accoutrements. You, a knife, and a boar. If you come out on top, then that is absolutely impressive.

Just don't bother bragging about how awesome you are if the only way that you're able to outsmart the damn animal is by making every possible effort to hide from him and the only thing that that animal is aggressive toward is a vegetable garden. There's nothing to be accomplished or be proud of in that scenario.

Know Your Sox.

Sox in Site has a new video. This time they were searching for tidbits for the magazine. So what did we learn? Okajima has a terrific laugh. They're all a bunch of slobs with the possible exception of Victor Martinez. Papelbon had his hair cut and that's all that needs to be said about him. Kevin Youkilis still listens to grunge. [Aside:I know this isn't news. He said last year that he had a Pearl Jam song as his ring tone and I laughed at him then too.] And JD Drew might be a good dancer (I don't see why he wouldn't be: he moves well and he had to let loose at some point) or not, I can't tell if Youkilis is being sarcastic or not.

Breaking his (partial) Silence.

Reuters Pictures

Mike Lowell has not been one to really talk to the media since spring training started but after today's game he spoke about the challenge of playing first:

"I am feeling more comfortable. I was actually glad I got a ball in the dirt and a chance to hold some runners on--just doing more of the responsibilities. There are definitely different things you have to concentrate on but I think the two positions are related. You're involved in a lot more plays, which is better. I would say it's a lot more comfortable position to play because you don't need to make that throw [from third to first]."

and the chattiness involved in playing first:

"Absolutely. I was asked how the kids and family are doing. Is this guy making the team? When the first base coach is up with a runner on first, you almost can't help but talk. When I got to first, I would say hi to the first baseman and all of that but you're almost gone in three or four pitches.

"I feel like I know [Pirates first base coach Carlos] Garcia. He's almost like family after just five innings. No wonder everybody loves Sean Casey so much. He knows your whole family history. A lot more talk, a lot more talk. More bantering."

He also talked about the lack of improvement in his hip:

"With X-Rays and what I've done, I think what I was not aware of was best case
scenario was status quo post-surgery. Meaning whatever cartilage damage I had, which was technically was pretty signficant on the hip side, it wasn't going to get better. I don't know if it was my optimism. But I do believe it was what I was told -- that it was going to get better.

"In that sense, would I compare it to like I was running like in '07? I would say no. So in that sense it was a little disappointing. I still stand that I am better than last year. There's a certain condition in the hip that I don't think will ever allow me to get the point where I was in '07 or prior. In that sense, of course that's disappointing but I think once I got more educated in what happened with the surgery, and I have more range of motion now that can cause more friction, it makes more sense."

He seems really down about the hip, which is too bad.

Papa Lopez.

A special congratulations goes out to Javier Lopez on the birth of a daughter, Kylan Gabrielle, last Friday. For a couple of very intelligent people, he and his wife gave the girl an awful name (How does one pronounce Kylan? Is it like Ryan but with a K and an L? Is it Kay-Lynn? And, I'm sorry, but Kylan--however it's pronounced--Gabrielle does not go with Lopez.) but I've always liked him and thought that he got a raw deal last season.

Here We Go.

Reuters Pictures

Josh Reddick may not be all that impressed with the game going on in front of him (and I'll give him the fact that they were facing the Pirates) but with the way they've played lately, I'll take it. It's kind of sad that a spring training win over the Pirates gets such an announcement but whatever.

Josh Beckett held the Pirates to three hits over five innings. He allowed one run but struck out nine. And except for Fernando Cabrera, the bullpen held the line. Most importantly, there was a little bit of offense. Home runs from Victor Martinez, Bill Hall, and Mike Cameron led the way.

Also,listening to the Pirates radio guys I get the sense that they know that no one is listening and so they feel free to ramble on about whatever crosses their minds.

March Madness.

There are just under two weeks left until Opening Day and my boys seem to have hit a little bit of a snag. They've gone on a positively Pittsburgh-ian streak and lost eight of the last nine games. You try not to make too much of spring training games, you acknowledge that players are working on things and the focus isn't necessarily to win the game but, nevertheless, it's just a wee bit disturbing. Thankfully, it would appear that middle-management is aware of the issue. Says Francona of his team's play of late:

"I think we’re going through a three-, four-day stretch here where everybody feels heavy. Heavy-legged, we’ve been split up, we’re on buses. Hopefully we’ll kick it into gear a little bit the next couple of days, get a little more energy, play a little bit cleaner baseball.

He's almost got a little haiku in the middle there except that the syllables aren't right. To wit: We're heavy-legged/We are riding on buses/We have been split up. But absolutely amen to the last part. That would be fantastic.

Barbershop Quartet.

According to the Globe, premiering during today's NESN broadcast of the game (assuming, of course, that NESN can figure out how to get the game on telelvision) will be two Red Sox ads. The first features Jason Varitek, Tim Wakefield, Jonathan Papelbon, and David Ortiz in a barber shop. Ignoring the improbability of the four of them seeing the same barber, it's pretty good. I like the little detail of having the article on the back page of the paper that Wake is reading being in defense of JD Drew (it may, of course, just be a coincidence--they could have simply filmed it whichever day that Globe article came out but I like to think that it was purposeful.)

The second ad (which can be seen on the Red Sox website) features John Lackey being confused about how to get around Boston and getting advice from Don Orsillo on how to navigate. I'll just say it: I'm starting to really like John Lackey. Also, any talk of a rotary (which aren't unique to Massachusetts anyway) requires a "Hey, look kids! There's Big Ben and Parliament!"

Good News.

There has been joy on the Ryan Westmoreland front: He's been moved from the ICU to the Neuro rehab unit. Very good news for him.

Mustachioed.

Kevin Youkilis' facial hair saga continues in this video on the Sox website. In the video he polls his teammates about which style they would vote for. At least in the video they seem to go for the moustache. I've got to say: it may just be my personal issue with him but the moustache gets my vote.

Like Rabbits.

Not much has gone right for Daisuke Matsuzaka this spring but perhaps that will change with the birth of his newest daughter last night. Congratulations to him.

Takes One to Know One.

(AP Photo)

Kevin Youkilis' hirsute mug is legendary. He looks like Yukon Cornelius. When he shaved it over the winter it just looked wrong. He's currently running a drive on his charity's website which would allow fans to pick the style he will use to decorate his mammoth chin on opening day. But the man has little tolerance for other people's choice of facial hair. Says Youkilis of Diamondbacks pitcher Clay Zavada's handlebar number "That thing is disgusting." Alright, so Zavada may look as if he's a cape and a top hat away from tying a damsel in distress to the railroad tracks but really guy?

Blue-Ribbon Play.

(Reuters Photo)

I have no idea how old the guy who does radio for the Houston Astros is. I didn't catch his name yesterday but if he's the old guy on their website, then he looks pretty old. (He also graduated from University of Iowa with a degree in radio speech which doesn't help him seem any younger.) He got names wrong and seemed a little bit too enthusiastic for a spring training game but I did enjoy listening to him. He was full of these wonderful old-fashioned phrases--he called Dustin Pedroia a pepper pot--and his command of descriptive language was really impressive--his description of Kevin Youkilis' batting stance, not the easiest thing to describe, was evocative and spot on. Anyway, the Astros made some nice plays and he called them blue-ribbon plays. And I like the phrase.

Today, Adrian Beltre turned in his own blue-ribbon play and it was quite impressive. In the fourth inning, Alex Cora hit a ground ball up the middle. It bounced off of Lackey's ankle [Aside: I'm actually starting to come around on John Lackey. Wonders never cease.] and Adrian Beltre picked it up and flung it over for the out, while tumbling to the ground. (Really, I just wanted to put that photo up because there's so much happening in it.) It seems that everyone was appreciative of the play:

Francona:

"You can tell he’s been throwing the baseball all his life. It’s a natural thing. He can throw from a number of different angles."

Bill Hall:

"That’s almost like a routine play for him. He’s bare handing that ball. That one probably has sidespin, so it makes it a little tougher to get a grip on that ball. And he’s probably throwing it without a good four-seam grip — and sidearm, and falling down. It just takes a lot of athletic ability and a lot of body control to do it."

John Lackey:

"Pretty awesome play by AB. That dude can play. He always shows off the arm. No step over to first, he’s got that one down. Guys on our team on the [Angels] bench would talk about, ‘Hey, that dude can pick it.’ It was definitely impressive to watch him play defense."

and Beltre himself:

"That’s probably my favorite play. I love to make those plays, especially when it’s supposed to be a base hit. It’s always nice to know that I can still do that. I hadn’t done it this year yet.

"I enjoy making them myself, because I’m doing something for my teammates. It makes me want to get better everyday. I want to be able to help my teammates, especially the pitchers out there, trying to do their job, which is getting groundballs, so we can do our job."

K-I-S-S-I-N-G.

Ha. Ha. Jed Lowrie has mono. When you're fourteen contracting mono makes you kind of cool but when you only look fourteen I can't think of anything more embarrassing to be diagnosed with. Even Francona made fun of him "I don't think we want him kissing anybody, but we'll keep an eye on him and just kind of monitor him."

Hello Stranger!

(AP Photo) Someone failed to tell Brad Mills that Francona was still in charge of the Sox and he was shocked *shocked* when Francona appeared today.

Sensei.

As impossible as it seems, Daniel Bard would have you believe that Tim Wakefield is something less than a super person. The boy must be insane because Wake has branched out from teaching tiny Japanese girls and is now trying (not terribly successfully) to explain the mysteries of the knuckleball to the unwashed masses.

Also, he seems ridiculously out of proportion to the background they've put him against.

Pink.

Starting tomorrow Victoria Secret will begin carrying a line of MLB inspired clothing as part of their PINK brand. Special sparkly clothing with nifty sayings like "I only kiss Padres fans". And zippered pockets.

I don't begrudge a person the right to watch baseball because the players are cute; honestly, they deserve props for sticking with it--baseball is boring and ballplayers are, on the whole, a homely bunch. If Jacoby Ellsbury is the best you can do, then the bar is set pretty low. (There aren't too many Gabe Kaplers out there.) And, let's face it, with the amount of spitting that goes on and the fact that many of them still chew tobacco, they're mostly just gross.

What does annoy me is having to constantly prove that despite my lack of a Y chromosome, I am a baseball fan. I don't enjoy repeatedly having to show that I understand and love the game; that I know the infield fly rule. (How did that become the barometer for fandom, anyway?) I don't enjoy being accused of being madly in love with Josh Beckett. (The man's favorite food is steak. Is there anyway that he could have provided a less predictable--and boring--response?) I don't enjoy having men assume that I don't know a damn thing about what's going on in the game and set about trying to explain it to me.

And, therein, lies the problem. Because women who watch baseball for the tight pants (and who, among ballplayers, wears tight pants anymore anyway?) and the pert asses exist, many men assume that all women who watch baseball do so for the highly developed gluteal muscles. Do I have an appreciation for a high, round ass? Sure. But it's not the be-all-and-end-all of my baseball fandom. In fact, to assume that my interest in the game goes no deeper is highly insulting. I like baseball and I shouldn't have to prove it to you.

Take Two.

The Sox website has a new blooper reel from photo day. This one heavily features Dustin Pedroia and Kevin Youkilis. It also shows that Josh Beckett is a straight forward kind of guy. And alas, poor Mikey Lowell must have been thinking "Man. They really don't want me here."

I Scream. You Scream.

Marge Simpson was right: Titles are hard. If you can come up with a good Red Sox themed ice cream name though, Hood ice cream will award you with coupons for free ice cream for a year.

Blackberry on the Brain.

(More graphic version here.)

The poor kid just can't catch a break. Ryan Westmoreland has been diagnosed with a cavernous malformation in his brain and has been sent to Arizona to have it removed.

A cavernous angioma (aka cavernous malformation or cavernoma) is a benign tumor. They're actually not uncommon but most people go through life without knowing that they have one (or two). It's a grouping of thin-walled blood vessels that develop little nodules where the blood traveling through the vessel has pooled and clotted. Usually, a whole cluster of nodules will develop and the tumor starts to look like a blackberry.

Because brain surgery is, well, brain surgery it's typically the last resort for treatment. If the symptoms (most commonly seizures) can't be managed with medication, then they resort to surgery. (I suspect that this is not the case for Westmoreland.) Typically, the surgery is highly successful; if the angioma is removed completely there is no chance of recurrence.

Best of luck to him.

Edit: According to PawSox radio guy Steve Hyder, Westmoreland suffered a seizure last week; which would explain how they found it.

Edit Again: If Edes is right (and if you're going to believe just one person, Edes would be the one to believe), Westmoreland didn't have a seizure, they sent him for the MRI because he had headaches. Edes also writes that the angioma is on Westmoreland's brain stem and that it's already hemorrhaged once; which makes it much more serious. But they do think that they can do the surgery, so that's a positive.

Free Music.

So here's a neat little thing: The Baseball Project, a rock band that performs songs about baseball, has agreed to create a sort of musical blog called Broadside Ballads, wherein they sing about happenings in baseball and release the tracks for free. It's good stuff.

Confession.

This may make me a terrible person (although, I don't think that I've ever claimed otherwise) but when they booed Jason Bay down in Florida today it made me snicker. By all accounts, Bay is a good guy and I don't begrudge him his move to Queens. I don't. But I wish that were possible for a player to leave Boston without subsequently whining about what an awful place it is and how terribly he's been treated by the front office.

Maybe the players are right. Maybe the front office is a terrible place filled with terrible people that don't respect players--I do have a suspicion that Theo is really a power-hungry baddie from some comic book series who uses ballplayers as his pawns in some manic scheme to take over the world while nestled deep within his secret lair. Maybe they shouldn't have to carry their own bags and maybe they should be allowed to star in commercials proclaiming their joy at finally being with a winner. Maybe it shouldn't be suggested to them that they might need surgery. Maybe I don't want to hear about it.

If you're Petey you can get away with it because, well, you're awesome; you're the best pitcher of the modern era and arguably in the top ten since the beginning of baseball. (If Roger Clemens hadn't become such a clown, then he might have fit into this category as well.) The rest though, should stop pretending to have been so grievously wronged and just leave. If they're going to say anything at all, a simple I followed the money would suffice. It's widely accepted that (with the possible exception of Tim Wakefield) all ballplayers are money grubbing. And so except for those players who swear false loyalty to a club before going off and signing with the Yankees, no one blinks when a player behaves in this manner.

Manny, for all his faults, did it right. I do come close to wearing blinders when it comes to Manny but I don't recall him ever saying anything about how awful Boston was, once he got to L.A. There was a story (I'd guess in the ProJo given the inflammatory nature) where he said something like "Dodger fans are the best fans in the world" but that's hardly the same thing. I really do hope that if they decide not to pick up David's option next winter that he goes Manny's route; that he doesn't start whining about lack of respect and about what he deserves. I would hate to be annoyed with him.

Dance School.

Two years ago Mike Lowell had a brilliant idea; he recruited his teammates to embarrass themselves in the name of raising money for his charity by attempting to dance. It was beyond fantastic. Catching on to a good thing, the Red Sox Foundation held a similar event of their own last Saturday, this time featuring minor-leaguers Lars Anderson, Mark Wagner, Michael Bowden, and Ryan Kalish. I've got to say: Kalish moves pretty well.

Adios Nomar.

CSNNE broke up the presser into little pieces so possibly in the wrong order:











Maybe it's a little bit silly but this is a good thing. There was a time when Nomar Garciaparra was idolized around here. He meant a lot to the people of this town and, seemingly, they meant a lot to him.

Immediately before he came up, the Sox were not a very good team; they were poorly run and the number of games they won was surprising. Combined with some lingering resentment over the strike, the Sox didn't exactly inspire warm fuzzies. But then Nomar came along and knocked a little hole through the clouds over New England. He was phenomenal to watch and seemed destined for the Hall of Fame.

It's hard to argue that it didn't end the way it should have--they've had plenty of success without him. I think it's safe to say, though, that it didn't end the way anyone would have wanted it to end. It's a nice little corollary to his career.

The idea of him ending up in the media is a bit of a laugher but he seems so calm and happy during the press conference that maybe it'll work out for him.

Master of the Universe.

(Photo lifted from here.)

There are things that occur to you in the middle of the night that you absolutely have to write down in case you forget them and your brilliance is forever lost. This would be one of those things: You know how there's King Felix? Should Randor Beird ever make it to the big leagues, whether it's with this club or some other, he needs to be called King Randor. King Randor, you see, was He-Man's father. The nicknaming possibilities would be too fantastic to pass up. Who ever is in charge of these decisions needs to get on it.

What a Difference a Year Makes.

Lars Anderson had all the hype in the world going for him at this time last year; then AA proved to not be a walk in the park for him last season and he now finds himself to be almost a non-entity this spring. But he says it's cool. He's a heady guy and feels that that may have gotten in his way last year. (And, as Dustin Pedroia will tell you, the stupider you are, the better you'll be at baseball.) Despite remaining hitless this spring, he says he's gotten his issues straightened out. So bully for him.

Citius, Altius, Fortius.

NESN has video of the athletic prowess of Jacoby Ellsbury but check out this David Ortiz hustle.

Candlesticks Make a Nice Gift.

Mark Wagner is supposed to be a personality unto himself; he's supposed to be gregarious, outspoken, and amusing. As it turns out, "Wags" as he refers to himself is a bit of a wise ass. Asked today about visiting Casey Kelly on the mound:

"No, well, I had a question for him because there was this girl I met the other night, and we were on the mound and I was like, ‘Dude, I don’t know what to do.’ No, it was good. When he goes out and throws his game, there’s nothing you even need to talk about. It was good.”

Hardy har har.

Hop on Papi.

It seems perfectly reasonable to pick on David Ortiz as he has yet to find his swing this spring.


Gotta keep those glove skills sharp.

"So...You got plans tonight?"

"It's a European Shoulder Bag."

Only included because the shirt looked very unflattering in the last picture.

Brian Roberts looks to the dugout for help as David Ortiz, overcome by Roberts' boyish appeal, attempts to pick him up and take him home.

Live From Fort Myers: It's Batting Practice.

If you didn't buy MLB.tv because you've got NESN and since you've got NESN you don't live outside NESN's viewing area, then your next chance to see live baseball may very well be March 13; which seems like a depressingly long time from now. So you take any crumbs you can get and at 10 o'clock today, the News-Press down in Fort Myers will be streaming the Red Sox and the Twins batting practice live on their website. It's just a little thing but it'll have to do.

Exchange Student.

They say that knuckleball pitchers belong to a fraternity. If Eri Yoshida has her way, then they may have to come up with a new term. (I'd guess, though, that since in Romance languages the word 'brothers' can mean 'brothers and sisters' 'fraternity' would include women so they probably wouldn't have to technically change it--it was a good start and I'm not willing to abandon it.) Wake, being the dear kind soul that he is, took the time to meet with Ms. Yoshida and give her a few pointers on throwing the knuckleball yesterday. It was very good of him and I'm not sure that there are many of them who would have bothered.

Meanwhile Out in Arizona...

I would like very much for the Red Sox to win the World Series year in and year out. That would please me. But if there had to be a team besides the Red Sox to win the World Series, I would like it to be the Cubs. I'm not a fan of the Chicago Cubs but I do empathize with their fans. I would like them to experience that joy, to feel that release; barring, of course, that victory coming against the Red Sox.

Although, I suppose the best way to say it would be: If my boys were going to lose the World Series, then the least offensive team to lose to would be the Cubs. Obviously, if it came down to a Cubbies-Sox series "Go Sox!" but from the distance of early March I'd be okay with Chicago taking it all.

And so out there somewhere in Arizona, Kevin Millar tries to work his magic and convince the Cubs that they stand a chance against the Cardinals and the dark-horse Reds. As he tries to find himself a seat on that bench the Chicago media is digging the stories of Jack Daniels in the Gatorade and "Don't let us win tonight." Says Millar of playing in the World Series:

''I always thought experience was overrated until you get to those playoff games, until you get to the World Series and your heart rate's about a bazillion. That's something I'll never forget. And the good ones have a way of bringing that heart rate down, like your Joe Montanas or your Derek Jeters.

''Everything's so fast. Every pitch means something. Every ball, every strike. You try to slow it down like it's a regular-season game. You're finding a way to bring that heart rate down to a regular beat and talking it out.''

If Millar wants to play, then I'd like for him to get a job doing so. But if he doesn't find a spot, then the Sox should snap him up, appoint him Secretary of Keeping it Real and give him something to do. They could force NESN to give him Heidi's job; he would be fantastic at that--miles better than Ms. Watney.

Blooper Reel.

The Globe put together a blooper reel of sorts from picture day. A couple of notes: Josh Beckett may have a very dry sense of humor. Jon Lester is thrilled, THRILLED, to wish you a happy Fourth of July. And JD Drew is either madly in love with his hat or was suffering from hat head. (I'd vote for hat head.)

Fear of Flying.

For all intents and purposes, Dustin Pedroia seems fearless when he plays baseball. He's not afraid of anything or anyone on the field; be it rolling his wrist diving for a groundball and ending his career or disturbingly overweight pitchers in New York who might not be able to curb their hunger until the end of the inning and decide to snack on him in the meantime. But it turns out that off the field he's not that brave. He is afraid of going 500 miles per hour and falling 30,000 feet. In short, he's afraid to fly.

Also, JD Drew has his pilot's license. So that's something interesting about him.