Fear of Flying.

For all intents and purposes, Dustin Pedroia seems fearless when he plays baseball. He's not afraid of anything or anyone on the field; be it rolling his wrist diving for a groundball and ending his career or disturbingly overweight pitchers in New York who might not be able to curb their hunger until the end of the inning and decide to snack on him in the meantime. But it turns out that off the field he's not that brave. He is afraid of going 500 miles per hour and falling 30,000 feet. In short, he's afraid to fly.

Also, JD Drew has his pilot's license. So that's something interesting about him.

Knuckleheads.

You've got to think that one of the worst things about playing against the Red Sox is Tim Wakefield. If the knuckleball is working that day, then all that work you've put in in the batting cage is for nought. You've spent hours making something akin to a science out of hitting and for this particular game it comes down to luck. Conversely with R.A. Dickey having joined the Mets, one of the best things about playing for the Sox must be never having to try to hit a knuckleball.

Except in spring training when Wakefield throws live batting practice to David Ortiz, Kevin Youkilis, and Dustin Pedroia:

"Wow," Ortiz yelled at the top of his lungs after an unhittable knuckler dropped right over the plate. "What was that?"

A grinning Wakefield talked a little smack from the pitchers mound.

"You hitting that one? You hitting that one?" the 43-year-old knuckleballer teased.

Ortiz then bowed out, but laughed loudly as Pedroia twisted himself in a knot swinging and missing. Youkilis finally got a ball out of the infield, popping weakly to shallow center, and letting out a proud, "Aww yeah!" at the accomplishment."

Captions, Series Three.

More Globe photos:

No Daisuke! No! There may be too many pitchers but there is a better solution.


Jon Lester is aware of my softening opinion of him and he will glare me back to indifference.


A giant among men.

Dustin Want a Cracker?

I've been working on this scheme wherein I kidnap Dustin Pedroia. (Obligatory short joke: He couldn't be that hard to subdue, right?) Nothing sordid, mind you. And not even really like Misery at all. I would simply bring him home and keep him there to say things that would amuse me--like a parrot. In the first few days of camp, he hasn't disappointed.

He told Edes yesterday:

"You know what I'm going to do this year? Bat fifth and DH. I'm waiting to tell Papi that second base is all his."

There are so may fantastic images in those three sentences that I don't even know where to start.

It's unlikely that he's concerned about an organizational shift in focus from hitting for power to defense. Holding court today and saying:

"Yeah, it kind of upsets me [when people talk about a lack of offense] but I really don't care what you guys think anyway."

and

"I don't even buy into that stuff. We have great pitching, we have great defense, and we have good offensive players. I don't even know what run prevention is. I'm kind of a baseball players. I don't know how to read very good. I don't know how to write very good. We just go play. We'll be fine."

You also don't know how to talk very good. But come on, think about it: Run. Prevention. There aren't too many things that that could mean.

And from the Edes:

"Look at Scutaro. He scored over one hundred runs last year. He was a pain in the butt. Cameron, he's going to hit a ton of home runs at Fenway.

And me, I'm going to have at least ten more hits this year, because that's how many Beltre took away from me."

Which of course sent me scampering to look up how he did against Seattle last year. He was 5-26 against Seattle but if he feels he should have been 15-26, more power to him.

Going Home.

Yesterday, Tim Wakefield's golf tournament kicked off in Florida.

And last night Dustin Pedroia went home to Woodland, CA to help raise funds for improvements to a baseball field.

NYE.

New Year's eve has come and gone and by now everyone should have recovered from the after effects. Around here it snowed, a lot. But out in the desert of Las Vegas the party was hopping. The consensus seems to be that one participant in the festivities was Dustin Pedroia. One report has him spending the night at XS nightclub (which I originally read as extra small which seemed appropriate) but another had him at Tryst nightclub. But, as tends to be the case in Las Vegas, no photographic evidence to prove his whereabouts--seriously, I clicked through all the pictures from both nightclubs' New Year's Eve parties, looking for short, bald men and couldn't find him. And that's all I've got.

Going Home.

Not all that long ago, Dustin Pedroia didn't get along with the town of Woodland, CA. Last year, after his brother's arrest, Pedroia had a problem with the way the local newspaper connected him with the crime. Then, during spring training, he called the town a dump (or something of that nature) and said that nobody wanted to live there. At the time, reports out of northern California seemed to indicate that for some of the local populace Dustin was persona non grata.

It would seem that Pedroia and the town have now reached a sort of peace. On January 30, Pedroia will be speaking at a benefit to raise money for the renovation of the town's ballfields.

Now, I realize that Woodland is a good-sized town and that Dustin has only been in the league for a few years but down in Hahira, GA J.D. Drew has a ballfield named after him (and his brothers) while Dustin, who seems much more outgoing, is raising money for a field named after somebody called Clark. Fair?

I Heard a Man in Reno.

If Reno was even a little bit closer, I might seriously consider attending a fundraiser for Western Nevada College's baseball and softball programs on January 16. The reason? Dustin Pedroia will be the featured speaker. There's very little that amuses me as much as a Dustin Pedroia quote; his combination of humor and braggadocio is an absolute hoot. And I can't imagine that he'd have a difficult time speaking on the topic of: The Dustin Pedroia Story. You do have to wonder if he came up with the title himself.

Re: Just an Old Baseball Club in Search of a Shortstop.

Username: StatBustinDustin
Vitals: Male; 26 years old; Boston, MA

Introduction: 'Sup? The name's Dustin but people call me DP or Pedey or whatever. I saw your ad about looking for a new shortstop and think that I'd be awesome at it. I gotta say: I know where you're coming from. I was also disappointed in the way 2009 turned out for me and am hoping for better things in 2010.

What I Bring to the Table: I may not be the biggest guy who responds to your ad but I've got heart and I've got hustle. And I would literally be a shortstop <--- Punny, right? I really don't harp on my height and hope that you'd be able to see past it. I love a challenge (and since I've already accomplished everything that could ever be accomplished at second, moving to short and doing it all again would be a challenge). But I did play short in college and in the minors, so it wouldn't be completely new. Plus, since we already know each other there wouldn't be any getting to know you period. Lastly, my, like, personal theme song:



Hit me back. Let's talk.

Golfing With Mr. Hunter (and Mr. Upton).

I'm not sure if my recent dislike of Torii Hunter gives me leave to make fun of his charity. Even if he is a terrible friend and his charity's mission statement is somewhat grandiose and self-satisfied, he probably does a lot of good. Besides which, the man has connections.

Josh Beckett hosts a bowling tournament with a similarly vague goal of helping children and you get coverage from the local media outlets. Torii Hunter hosts a golf tournament to help children in his own self-important way and he gets MLB Network to cover it for him. Beckett has an after party with some band I've never heard of (sorry) and Hunter gets Brian McKnight for his shindig (I couldn't tell you what he sings but I have heard of him).

The reason for bringing it up? Both Dustin Pedroia and David Ortiz (who must be a better person than me) have agreed to show up for the November 10-11 tournament. And although Kevin Millar is shown in an Orioles uniform in the slide show at the bottom of the page and it's been four seasons since he played in Boston, he apparently remains an Old Sock to everyone. Also, if Hazel Mae is your thing, she'll be there too.

Scenes from LA.

AP photos from yesterday's and today's workouts in LA:



No, Papi! No! Baseball gloves aren't for eating.



David Ortiz: Hey! I play first base too. Can I come practice with you guys?
Victor and Youkilis try not to laugh.



Pedroia: Nu-unh, Mr. Beckett. It wasn't me who stole your glove. I swear. It was...Jed. Jed way over there that did it. Honest.




Pedroia thinks: You know, if this whole baseball thing doesn't end up working out. I could have a kick ass career as a smoldering underwear model.




At least Daisuke Matsuzaka thinks I'm funny.

California Dreamin.

The Sox left for California this afternoon and what better send off could there be than to make fun of their outfits?



Would you check out those gams? That boy has a very shapely leg. And really nice shoes. Someone ought to tell him how to wear a French cuff, though. Puffy sleeves are not attractive.



I suppose that we can give Victor the benefit of the doubt and pretend that the stripes on his suit are brown. And while his belt and his shoes do not match (and it appears that he's wearing black socks, too boot) at least he seems to have his priorities straight, making an all important stop at Build-A-Bear before he made his way to the bus.




Besides the fact that Theo is carrying both a backpack and a briefcase (making him look like a young-ish college professor), the only thing moderately interesting about the photo is that apparently his choice of airplane reading material is Harper's Magazine. Although as far as I can tell from looking at their website, not the latest issue.



Even though the pocket square doesn't match and he probably should have resisted the urge to button his suit old man cardigan style (just doing the top button), David Ortiz is able to rock the suit. It's a beautiful jacket.



And Francona. I'll just say that the difference in quality between Ortiz's jacket and Francona's jacket is stunning.

D.P. II

Dustin Pedroia left Toronto earlier today to attend the birth of his son, Dylan Pedroia. That baby was bound and determined to make his appearance and happily things turned out smoothly. Congratulations to all three participants.

Mike Scioscia Lite.

I have long suspected that Joe Maddon was a jackass. It started with those stupid glasses that he wears which shrilly exclaim a desire to be hip. It extended to his need to prove how brilliant he is and how creative and wonderful he is with his slogans. He'd probably think that "think outside the boxscore" was genius. And then there's the whole inciting a riot thing.

And he has ultimately proven his jackassery today. Dustin Pedroia has dropped out of the game to be with his wife. (Absolutely the right decision.) So who did Maddon choose as his replacement? Ian Kinsler who was second in fan voting? Nope. Some other deserving second baseman? Nope. Really? Nope. Justin Morneau (who probably belonged to be there more than Youkilis or Teixeira) then? Nope. Miguel Cabrera? Nope. Chone Figgins? Nope. Well who then? Which other qualified, deserving player did he select to fill that spot? He picked his very own first baseman Carlos Pena *tilde implied*.

Look, I like Haverhill. I do. He seems like a nice guy. But Carlos Pena *tilde implied* is not an All-Star and does not belong at the All-Star game.

Dr. Cosby is Sending a Message.

When I was a kid my dad had these old Bill Cosby records that he would play for us. (This was one of my favorite routines and lead to many attempts on my part to do the same.) I can't imagine what struck these two as so funny but it's a great picture.

Baby Trouble.

In a piece of bad news, it seems that Dustin Pedroia missed last night's game to be with his wife after she experienced complications in her pregnancy. The last line of the Projo article sounds very dire:

"Immediately after the Sox' 6-0 loss to the A's, Francona was on his way to the hospital to be with the Pedroias."

If it wasn't serious, why would he be going to the hospital? But still, if it was serious, who would want to be with their boss at a time like that?

Good luck to the both of them.

Also, I'm glad she's pregnant and that I didn't just call her fat at the end of May.

Something Squirrely.

Michigan squirrels are an opinionated bunch. They're unpatriotic and, quite obviously, Detroit Tigers fans. For two innings one little guy attempted to distract JD Drew by dashing around in front of him but it was all for naught. Instead of being a distraction, the squirrel became a source of fun. Someone in the Red Sox dug out decided to point out that the squirrel wasn't much larger than Dustin Pedroia:

"I got made fun of pretty much half the game. Our hunting guys were out there licking their chops."

Perhaps if you were really, really hungry and there was no other option, squirrel meat might be the way to feed a starving stomach but it seems like it would be extremely gamey and tough. Also, short jokes: Not just for newspaper writers anymore.

Baby Makes Three.

Mrs. Kelli Pedroia was just on the NESN broadcast promoting not getting skin cancer and, surprisingly, she appeared to be six or seven monthes pregnant. Congratulations to the both of them. (I hope, of course, that she didn't just start in on her Memorial Day picnic early. Given the unhealthy skin-and-bones look she was sporting before, it seems unlikely.)

The Sex Injury.

I suppose that most things are possible but it seems unlikely.

Dustin Pedroia was pulled from yesterday's game after re-aggravating a strain in his left groin. As amusing as it might be a groin strain doesn't refer to the reproductive system but rather to a bundle of six adductor muscles in the inner thigh. The muscles are: the pectineus (light blue), the adductor brevis (yellow), the adductor longus (green), the adductor magnus (purple), the gracilis (red), and the obturator externus (dark blue). The main function of the muscle group is to move the leg inward; they also function to help rotate the hip.

A muscle strain can be as minor as just stretching a muscle too far to tearing the muscle fibers to tearing the muscle completely. The only way to treat the injured muscle is rest and then work specifically to strengthen the muscles. If Pedroia plans to return in the next few days, chances are that he didn't tear the muscle.

More Pedroia.

ESPN aired a little piece on Dustin Pedroia last night. I don't imagine that many people watched it because there was a game on. There's not really anything new in the interview but since it's they put it up...