Meanwhile Out in Arizona...

I would like very much for the Red Sox to win the World Series year in and year out. That would please me. But if there had to be a team besides the Red Sox to win the World Series, I would like it to be the Cubs. I'm not a fan of the Chicago Cubs but I do empathize with their fans. I would like them to experience that joy, to feel that release; barring, of course, that victory coming against the Red Sox.

Although, I suppose the best way to say it would be: If my boys were going to lose the World Series, then the least offensive team to lose to would be the Cubs. Obviously, if it came down to a Cubbies-Sox series "Go Sox!" but from the distance of early March I'd be okay with Chicago taking it all.

And so out there somewhere in Arizona, Kevin Millar tries to work his magic and convince the Cubs that they stand a chance against the Cardinals and the dark-horse Reds. As he tries to find himself a seat on that bench the Chicago media is digging the stories of Jack Daniels in the Gatorade and "Don't let us win tonight." Says Millar of playing in the World Series:

''I always thought experience was overrated until you get to those playoff games, until you get to the World Series and your heart rate's about a bazillion. That's something I'll never forget. And the good ones have a way of bringing that heart rate down, like your Joe Montanas or your Derek Jeters.

''Everything's so fast. Every pitch means something. Every ball, every strike. You try to slow it down like it's a regular-season game. You're finding a way to bring that heart rate down to a regular beat and talking it out.''

If Millar wants to play, then I'd like for him to get a job doing so. But if he doesn't find a spot, then the Sox should snap him up, appoint him Secretary of Keeping it Real and give him something to do. They could force NESN to give him Heidi's job; he would be fantastic at that--miles better than Ms. Watney.