Baseball Tonight!

Alright, so it's against the Twins and their starter is the unfortunately moniker-ed Boof Bonser (career ERA of 4.77) but it's real, honest-to-goodness baseball. On my television. Tonight.

It's one of those things; you know it's coming, you spend embarrassingly large amounts of time waiting anxiously for it, you prepare for it as best you can, and then suddenly, it's upon you and it's gleefully exciting.

It's like Christmas but better. The joy of Christmas lasts only as long as it takes for your aunt to start yelling at your uncle about taking more responsibility, for the cold war between your cousin and her sister-in-law to become evident, for your other cousin to start pouting in the corner and for the lasagna to somehow end up on the kitchen floor, a few hours. Tops. Baseball, on the other hand, lasts for months and months. It has some of the same anguish and angst as Christmas but it has the added benefit of becoming the backdrop of your life for seven, maybe eight months out of the year. And you wouldn't want it any other way.

According to Bradford, the pitchers that Minnesota intends to field tonight are the aforementioned Bonser, Nathan, Humber, Slowey, and Bass. Bonser's fastball is in the low-nineties and he has a strong curveball. He has had significant problems with command in the past. Joe Nathan (career ERA of 3.00) is their closer; his fastball is in the mid-nineties, he's got a servicable curveball, and a changeup. He's probably the strongest pitcher on their team. Philip Humber is a former Met. He's a baby pitcher from the National League, who did not post a particularly stellar set of numbers in Queens (ERA of 6.00 over 5 starts.) Slowey showed very good control in the minor leagues but had some issues in the majors last year (his ERA was 4.73); he walked eleven batters in his thirteen games last season, unfortunately, he also gave up eighty-two hits. Brian Bass is a minor league pitcher who had a 3.48 ERA in AAA last season. He projects to be a middle reliever.

As for offense, I don't know from whom they plan to get hits. They don't have any real power hitters (I suppose it doesn't really make a difference over the course of a game or two. It will prove problematic over the course of the season, though.) Justin Morneau is probably their best hitter (OBP of .343 and SLG of .492). Their catcher Joe Mauer has also hit pretty well (OBP of .382 and SLG of .426). Their second baseman, Brendan Harris, had an OBP of .343 and a SLG of .434; their third baseman, Mike Lamb, had an OBP of .366 and a SLG of .453. Right fielder, Michael Cuddyer, had an OBP of .356 and a SLG of . 433 last season. And out in left field, Jason Kubel had an OBP of .335 and a SLG of .450. But again, I don't know who they plan to put out there tonight-it might be a rag-tag group of minor leaguers.

I won't be having a hot dog or a beer in honor of tonight's game but I will be having my good mojo baseball cake. It's all very exciting. Only a few more hours until baseball. Woot!

A Multi-talented Crisp

He's like having Hermes in center field. He plans to vote democratic. He had the music thing (I think I read somewhere that he's given it up.) He ice skates. He tastes cookies. He reads. And now, according to Rob Bradford's latest blog, he can breakdance (which I assume he does better than Mr. Ortiz.) Besides hitting well consistently, is there anything the man can't do? (I kid because I love.)

The Old College Try

The boys of Chestnut Hill/Newtown didn't play very well earlier today. In fact, according to some accounts, it seemed on the verge of a comedy of errors at times. The game ended with a mercy ruling at 24-0 but feisty Mr. Pedroia wasn't willing to extend that courtesy saying that had he been in a similar situation in college he "...would have put a whooping on somebody. That's how I would have handled that."

Terry Francona was pleased with the way the Josh Beckett pitched. Josh was alright with his overall performance but he did feel that his curveball wasn't up to scratch. Francona also said that Bryan Corey threw some good changeups, Delcarmen's performance was solid, and Kyle Snyder played like Kyle Snyder (I don't know if Francona thinks that's a good thing.)

The Northeastern Huskies didn't fair as poorly. Granted, they didn't have to face as seasoned a pitcher as the BC boys did in Justin Masterson. Still, they went down 15-0 in a seven inning game.

Apologies to Davy Jones, et al.

Here we come,

Walking down the street
Get the funniest looks from
Everyone we meet.

Hey, hey we're the Red Sox

And people say we monkey around

But were too busy swinging



To put anybody down.



We're just tryin' to be friendly,

So come and watch us swing and play.

We're the young generation

And we've got something to say.

Hey, hey we're the Red Sox,

You'll never know where we'll be found.

So you better get ready,

We may be coming to your town.

* I don't really know why I apologized to Davy Jones. The Monkees didn't write their own music. It's probably alright, though. The Monkees weren't about music. They were about rebellion, about political and social upheaval.

Answers. Finally.

Josh Beckett did an interview with NECN's Chris Collins the other day. For most of the interview he just says what he's supposed to say; it takes a team to win a World Series, he's not upset that he didn't win the Cy Young, he's wary of the trip to Japan but looking forward to it anyway. Blah. Blah. Blah. He does mention that they have a plane with beds on it, which is a little interesting. Forty-six seconds from the end, though, he lays down the truth about his necklaces.

He doesn't think he wears an excessive amount of jewelry. What's more they're not decoration, they serve a purpose. Thank you very much. The ugly brownish-green one is supposed to keep your neck from getting stiff. The shark tooth like one is supposed to help you keep your concentration (it has a specific name but for the life of me I can't understand what he says.)

Josh, kitten, seriously? I get that baseball players are a superstitious bunch, but a necklace that's supposed to help you keep your concentration?

Lowell and Varitek in Washington

After their visit with W, Lowell and Varitek answered some questions.

Lowell touched on a number of topics, starting with how much he enjoyed his visit today. He said that he thought that W was a funny guy, he spoke about why he re-signed with Boston, and said that he looking forward to next season. He really comes across as very suave.

Varitek also answered some questions. He talked about enjoying this trip more than the visit after 2004, appreciating the opportunity to visit the Walter Reed Hospital, and why the Red Sox are awesome. He doesn't come as suave as Lowell.

I don't know why they had Okajima standing between them. Maybe he answered some questions before the video started. He came across as very quiet.

Dr. Snyderlove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Throw a Ball

Kyle Snyder may not have fond memories of Washington D.C. I've got to think an incident like the one reported in the Herald today has to become an integral part of who you are.

“We went on a field trip in seventh grade, went to the Naval Academy, and I fell off a missile,” Snyder said. “We were doing a photograph and we were trying to get everyone in order, shortest to tallest, and because we were moving around I fell off and fell about 10 feet. My face landed on a railing."

“I got 20 stitches around my lip. I had to wear braces - at that age, it was a disaster - and they took me by ambulance to Walter Reed.”

Oh, the Places You'll Go!

So I saw this picture on Boston.com and I thought: Wait. Beckett smokes? There are many things Josh Beckett is but, even with the chewing tobacco, I would have never believed him to be a smoker. So I put my mad detective skills to the test (i.e. I zoomed in) and my best guess is that he has a slug of water in his cheek. Chipmunk cheeks (which we already knew were in existence) are much preferable to smoking.

I will admit that he cleans up nicely. I think that it's because he appears to have shaved. I'm fairly certain that he removed that awful clump of fur from his lower lip and he may have gone the whole hog (it's hard to tell between beard and shadow when the image is pixelated.) And I'm digging the giant belt buckle.

Ellsbury, on the other hand, needs to have his pants hemmed. Also, Bobby Kielty clearly dressed himself (though I wouldn't blame his wife for not caring what he chose to wear today, that would be the least of her worries.)

Edit: Turns out it was only wishful thinking that he had shaved. Also, I guess the put together look doesn't last very long-a few hours on a plane is the limit.

What the Hell II?

So does all the extra weight he's carrying come in the form of an extra left arm? At least we know he's large enough to mostly hide a full grown man behind him. It really took me a long time to figure out what was going on in this picture.

What the Hell?

What exactly has happened to my boys?

Last night on NESN's Red Sox Report, Jason Varitek convinced the salesperson from Jostens (Goooooo Jostens!) that he wanted to wear his new World Series Ring on his toe. He went so far as to size his own toe, fill out the paperwork, and walk away. He later came back and properly fitted his finger but still. Unfortunately, NESN doesn't seem to think that this was a scene worth re-watching and they haven't put it up on their website; over at Jason-Varitek.com, however, there is some sense and they have screen capped the whole thing.

Mugging for the camera seems so out of character for Varitek; not unwelcome, just strange. He's normally a super serious, studious, quiet kind of guy. Maybe he was just in a really good mood but I like it. Who knew Jason Varitek had a slightly silly side?

Golfing with the Good Guys

I don't know who this guy (no, not Tim Wakefield) is; he seems to be a weatherman for the Naples Daily News but who's ever heard of a weatherman that works for a newspaper? He's probably inconsequential and he doesn't write well. It is, however, the only thing I've been able to find about the golf tournament last Friday.

Random guy, Jim Syoen, played in the tournament in Javier Lopez' foursome. The point of his blog entry is...well, I don't know what it is, unless it's to bitch about baseball fans. He tells me nothing interesting and he seems more than a little peeved that Lopez and, later, Wakefield weren't jerks. Maybe he was annoyed that he probably paid a hefty fee to participate and he wasn't getting the special treatment he felt he deserved, but I like the fact that they're good guys. Expecting baseball players to turn down autograph requests at a charity event seems a little silly, especially expecting such behaviour from Mr. Nice Guy Himself, Tim Wakefield. What do I know though?

But I find I have lied. He did tell me something interesting. It seems that Javier Lopez played tuba in the high school band. I just can't see it. He probably started as a trumpet player and was switched to tuba either do to ineptitude or the fact that he was too big for the trumpet. Either way, I've got to think that left-handed tuba playing must be very awkward.

You Learn Something New Everyday

On WBZ's Sports Final last night they had an interview with Mike Lowell. He was his usual charming self but he was mostly there to plug his book, which comes out May 6. It sounds interesting enough and I probably would have purchased it for that reason alone but some interesting things came up during the discussion. The first is that Rob Bradford (who co-wrote it) used excerpts from Lowell's journal-the Beckett type journal-as introductions for the chapters. The second fabulous thing (and I really wish that Amazon or Barnes and Noble had a picture of the book so I could confirm this) is that the forward of the book was written by, wait for it, Josh Beckett.

I'm not sure how I feel about this new Josh Beckett who seems to be emerging. First, he was smiling and seemed to be enjoying himself. Then, he showed evidence of introspection. And now it turns out he can write at least passably well. What has happened to the simple, easy to predict, one-dimensional character that we knew? What'll we find out next? That he devoured Proust in the original French? That he does, in fact, get paid to make those decisions?

Also, Pedroia was on Red Sox this Week right afterward. I don't know if they'll put the interview up on their website but if they do check out the boy's fashion sense. First he says that he's going to wear an American flag tie to meet the president, which he quickly amends to an American flag suit. A joke, probably; it's hard to tell when the person making it happens to be wearing gray, madras, bermuda shorts. I don't know where he purchased them. They're very preppy goth-I guess.

A New Contract for Terry

According to the Herald, the Sox and Francona have agreed to terms on a new contract. No word on how much money he is going to get but it's for three years (through 2011.) Hooray!

Happy Birthday Mikey Lowell!

I know I said yesterday that Sean Casey was beating out Mike Lowell for my most-favoritest baseball player and I don't want to seem fickle but I think today it's Mike Lowell. And how could you not like Mike Lowell?

Besides being a good ballplayer, he's intelligent and articulate. Not to rip on other baseball players but it's his ability to give a thoughtful, interesting, and understandable interview that catapaulted him to the forefront of my affections. He's got that dry, dry, dry sense of humor (and yes, three drys were required.) He seems to have a good understanding of the world (which sounds totally pompous on my part) and his place in it, meaning he doesn't take himself too seriously and he has his priorities straight. He's got a beautiful smile that begs you to smile back (I'm sitting here grinning stupidly at my computer.) And he shares a birthday with Bronson Arroyo and my grandmother.

Sadly, while he seems to enjoy his time in Boston and accoring to the Cape Cod Times enjoyed his time he spent playing on the Cape, he's a Miami boy at heart and plans to move back there when he retires. I don't know that I can blame him but it's too bad really, the baseball commentary of Mike Lowell would have been very interesting to hear.

Happy Birthday Mike and many happy returns of the day!

An Ode (Care of Steven Sondheim) to Mr. Kielty and his Hair

Could it be? Yes, it could.
Something's coming-something good.
If I can wait!
Something's coming, I don't know what it is,
But it is
Gonna be great!

I think he said at one point that he was thinking of growing his hair back out again. I don't want to get my hopes up too high but it looks as if he might be doing just that.

It's Official

Like a floor bagel, Sean Casey has stolen my heart. I didn't think it was possible for me to love a baseball player any more than I love Lowell or even Papelbon (and it really is a disproportionate amount to what sanity would dictate as reasonable) but last night in his interview with Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum, Casey drew even with the two of them in my affections.

Then this morning I read this interview and he's moved into the lead. Turns out the summer he played on the Cape, Casey wasn't such a good guy afterall.

"The incident took place when Casey was playing in the Cape Cod League for the Brewster Whitecaps in 1994 and his part-time job was working in the bakery at the Stop & Shop in Yarmouth. We'll let him fill in the rest.

"I didn't make any money back then and I was always starving," he said. "The baking lady told me that if anything fell on the floor I could have it. So I would knock a bagel off the table every morning, put some cream cheese on and eat it."

Hee! I'm sure he did it all furtively-like, thinking he was pulling a fast one on the "baking lady", when she was totally aware of his antics, but having been utterly charmed by the baseball playing muscle who was helping her out, she let him get away with it.

Millar being Millar

I've been thinking. The other day I said that I would make a terrible GM because I might be inclined to hire guys based on their looks but would that really be that terrible? Unless you're old, past your prime, and sitting out the last year or two of a massive contract, you have to have a certain level of skill to be a major league ballplayer. It's not like even the worst teams are pulling people off the street and having them play.

So an experiment was in order: a fantasy baseball team with the best looking players available for each position. Which is where I ran into trouble. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find twenty-five good looking baseball players? Especially pitchers. Pitchers are, in general, a homely group of guys.

It was during my search for an attractive second baseman that I came across this article about Kevin Millar. Sometimes I get nostalgic. This is one of those times.

So the story goes:

1) Ryan Dempster of the Chicago Cubs predicted a World Series win for his team.

2) Kevin Millar took exception to that claim saying: "I'm going on the record right now. We're going to shock the world. I don't know who Dempster is in Chicago, but if he thinks he's going to win the World Series, he has to come through us first. I'm going deep off Ryan Dempster."

3) Yesterday, Dempster responded with: "It's kind of hard to go deep off me when you're wearing one in the ribs every time up."

4) To which Millar replied:

Back in Fort Lauderdale, Millar held a printout of Dempster's comments and orchestrated an impromptu news conference.

"If Dempster threw it at my ribs, that means he's trying to go down and away," Millar said. "He has no command, no control of any fastball he throws, so he can't tell anybody where he's going to throw the baseball. The young man made the [2000]All-Star team with the Fighting Fish [ Florida Marlins] because they had to take somebody. The guy's lived off the 2000 All-Star stuff for many, many, many years, and I'm tired of hearing about it.

"There's a Budweiser sign in Wrigley Field. He'll try to throw the fastball down and away, and it might get away from him and hit me. The next at-bat, he's going to try to throw a hanging slider and I'm going hit it off the Budweiser sign."

Egad. You've got to love Kevin Millar.

Crisp v. Ellsbury: A (Batting) Cage Match

I know the title is corny but it really took me a very long time to come up with. So I'm leaving it.

If Coco smacked Jacoby over the head with his bat, as it looks like he's about to do in this photo, it would solve our problem. I'm not suggesting that he should because he would probably be charged with assault and then we would be center fielder-less but it would temporarily solve the issue of who gets to play. Unfortunately for my poorly thought out scheme, Coco is a really good guy and the two of them get along famously so he would not be a party to it.

It's not that I don't like Jacoby (with this posting he'll take the lead for the most posts in this little acre of cyberspace), or that I condone violence as a way of solving problems, it's just that I really enjoy watching Coco Crisp play baseball. And it seems like a huge leap of faith to just give the job to a kid who happened to get hot right at the right time.

Will Ellsbury be an offensive improvement over Crisp? Probably. Crisp has really struggled offensively since coming here from Cleveland. He used to be able to hit, though. He's been banged up a lot since the trade which might explain the lack of hitting. But when he showed up in Florida today, he looked bigger to me. It might be sign that he's finally found his bat again.

Will Ellsbury be a defensive improvement over Crisp? Nope. Crisp is practically a magnet out there. He was nearly perfect-he was charged with one error last season. He had the highest range factor at center field for the entire league. Will Ellsbury be able to match what Crisp can do in center field? I don't know. And while there's little doubt that Ellsbury is a good center fielder, it'd be a hard row to hoe.

It's definately a pickle. If they haven't already made their decision as to who gets to start, it'll come down to who is hitting better (hence my oh-so-clever title.) And that remains to be seen. How much of a hot streak was Ellsbury on? Has the lost bat of Coco Crisp been located over the off season?

If I was in charge (and Red Sox fans the world over should be glad that I'm not in charge-I'd be prone to making some pretty suspect decisions based on irrelevant things like quality of smile, hair style, and how good of a story the player has) I'd have Crisp as the starter for the first couple of months, let him build up some trade value, then allow him to choose which team he wanted to go to (because I am nice and I would want him to still like me at the end of the day) and get the best I could from that team trade-wise. But unless Ellsbury turned out to be a flash-in-the-pan, I would trade Crisp even though I like him a lot.

Svelte Papi

First, let me say I like Dan Roche. He can get a little giddy for a professional but without him we wouldn't have the spectacular, wonderfulness that is Cookie Off so we can forgive a lot. But what is up with the Boston media and their obsession with baseball player's hair? Seemingly the second question out of Dan's mouth to Ortiz was "What about your hair?" Ortiz' response: "What? You don't like it?"

Ortiz showed up at the park today and hit the batting cages (not literally, of course.) He was looking good. He's grown his hair out and seems to have lost some weight.

Also, it's not Ellsbury and it's not The Righteous Brothers but on the Road to Spring Training coverage over at Comcast Sportsnet they had a video of Papelbon on a float in a parade in Fort Meyers singing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" very badly, indeed. And I laughed. They said they were going to put it up on their website but as of right now they have not.

Et Voila!

Mike Lowell also made an appearance at the park today.

Metrosexuals love Jacoby

I don't know if it's in additional to the photo shoot for GQ or if the guy from the Oregon Sports Awards who said that Jacoby was doing a shoot for them was mistaken but tomorrow's Men's Vogue magazine will feature our own Mr. Ellsbury. For the pictures you'll have to wait until tomorrow but the text of the article is ready for your perusal.

Some adorable bits:

Regarding trying to steal a base:

"...which blacks out the ballpark as soon as he bolts for second base. "I don't hear anything. I'm just thinking, 'Get there, get there, they don't have a shot,'?" he says. "In the postseason, I ran faster than I've ever run before. I'm just"—he raises his arms and simulates a very powerful robot running—"choo-choo-choo-choo. And once I slide, that's when I hear the crowd and know that I've made it, when you hear that roar."

-I'm picturing him pretending like he's the Bionic Man, except fast.

Regarding what he does for fun:

"We never really talk about baseball," says Ellsbury. "That's a time to just relax....One night might be cool for karaoke, the next night might be just chillin'. Each night kind of flows." (Under duress, he reluctantly confesses that his clutch karaoke tune is "You've Lost that Lovin' Feelin'.")

-Karaoke? Seriously? I desperately want to hear this boy sing. I don't know which I want to hear more the Navajo song that his mom says he will sing on request or The Righteous Brothers but I definately want to hear him sing.

Terry and Peddy sittin' in a tree...

I don't know what it is between the two of them, or how it got to be that way, but I really enjoy the dynamic between Francona and Pedroia. Francona is like your fun, bachelor uncle-the one who never grew up, even though your mom and your aunts desperately wish that he would,he plays guitar, rides a motorcycle, he's just the epitome of cool-when he's around Pedroia.

In the Herald today they had a little bit about Pedroia taking over Francona's role in the Sullivan Tire Commercials.

"The Sullivan Tire commercial shoot offered one of the first opportunities for Pedroia and Francona to execute a series of good-natured jabs, a staple last year.

First came Pedroia’s explanation regarding why he will serve as the company’s spokesman: “He probably did the worst commercial of all time, so they are finally going to get somebody who can do something decent, or actually above average.”

Francona responded: “They were replacing a 49-year-old, so they were looking for somebody who closely resembled me, and he fit the bill."

Ha!

As for worst Red Sox commercial ever, I would have to nominate Jonathan Papelbon's 125 Auto Commercial. It is truly beyond words.

Just Because

I've got nothing to say about Josh Beckett-just that this picture made me laugh.

Happy Birthday Manny Del!

I'd like to take this opportunity to wish Mr. Manny Delcarmen a happy 26th birthday. There's been talk down in Florida that this might be his year to emerge as something special-26 is a good year, maybe it's true.

The picture is from the Bostonist from a fashion show he took part in earlier this month (I think.) The ring he's modeling displays how many times your name (though I suppose it could be anything) has been Googled. But for some reason, I'm not entirely sure why, it (the picture, not the ring) makes me want to bust out with: "Go! Go! Power Rangers!"

Note: I feel that it's important to point out, for my own pride and reputation's sake, that I never watched Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers. It was my brother, I swear.

An Update.

According to a little blurb in the Toronto Sun:

"Jays president Paul Godfrey says Toronto fans have the same right to buy tickets for April games against the Boston Red Sox and the Detroit Tigers.

The Jays farmed out sales for the April 5-6 games to Boston fans and to Detroit fans for the April 18-21 series. Godfrey says fans can sign up to Inside Pitch on the Jays website and can purchase "better tickets" than those available to Red Sox and Tigers faithful."

So there's that. As I said before, if I was a Jays fan this plan would have pissed me off hugely. As it stands though, what's to prevent me from registering on the website as a Jays fan to get the better tickets? And why, if I was interested in buying tickets, would I buy them at pre-sale if I had to wait until they actually went on sale to get good tickets? It was just a bad plan that should never have come to fruition.

Tim Wakefield: Potential Winningest Pitcher

Tim Wakefield is a man on a mission. He has 154 wins in his thirteen years with the Boston Red Sox, he's 38 wins short of the team record of 192 (held by Cy Young and Roger Clemens), but his goal is 200.

"I'd like to get to 200 wins and I'd like to tie or maybe break Cy Young or Roger Clemens' for all-time Red Sox (wins) but I don't know if that's possible. If I win 20 games the next two years, it's possible. It's probably within reach if I can play for four more years."

It's hard not to like Tim Wakefield. I'd certainly like for him to achieve that goal, even if it means a couple more years of Dougie (though Dusty Brown has been working on catching a knuckleball). I would just hope that in achieving those 46 extra wins, he doesn't accumulate 47 or more losses.

He also talked about pulling himself off the World Series roster. Right after the last win, his buddy Timlin made sure we knew that how hard that was and Wake agreed:

"The hardest thing to do is to take yourself out, to not think of yourself but to think of the team. As an athlete or as a competitor, it's hard to do that."

and

"You train and you play for a whole season to get to that point and not being able to perform on the biggest stage, I was disappointed. But, I think, from a team standpoint it was the right decision."

But don't cry for Tim Wakefield. He pulled himself out of contention because of torn cartilage in his shoulder but word on the street is that he's healthy now. Theo had this to say:

"He's in good shape and we'll see when we talk to him how he wants to approach this spring. I think he's approaching it as any other year, looking to give us a lot of innings."

He did say that it's not as easy to throw as it used to be; it takes him longer to recover between starts. Perhaps cautioning fans not to necessarily expect 17 wins from him this season. [aside: I think that was the first time I typed this season to mean 2008 and not 2007. It was a happy little moment.] He also said that he doesn't know when he plans to retire but here's hoping he holds together and can be the winningest pitcher in Red Sox history.

It Really Feels Like Spring Now

Jonathan Papelbon arrived in Fort Myers today and now I'm ready for spring. I really had no idea how much I missed the man (although the way I spazzed out at the mere mention of his name probably should have been a clue.) He sat down with the media earlier and had this to say.

Per the Globe:

"Spring training's always fun. Spring training is a time to relax, at the same time start getting ready for next season. I always get excited. Just on the way down here, driving and stuff, you think about what happened last year, going out there and doing it again. You turn the radio up loud. You cruise. It's always a fun time of year for me."

Per the Herald:

Regarding the "the dog ate my world series ball" story:

"If you believe it you believe it, if you don't you don't."

Regarding Clemens: He feels sorry for him but he hopes that the whole thing will help clean up baseball whether Roger did it or not. But

"if somebody is shooting him up with something he knows what's in it."

And lastly:

"If the Red Sox aren't the team to beat, he'd like to know who is."

Be still my heart (though that last one does seem a little dangerous to say outloud.) What can I say? He's a charmer and a goofball. And he looks quite good in slate blue (my Amelie Benjamin moment for today.) I think I can say, without exaggeration, that he is everything that is good and right in the world personified.

Edit: There is a video on the NESN website of Papelbon saying that he doesn't want to go to Japan. But if he has to, he hopes there is a McDonalds there. Awww, sweetie. Tokyo is a huge city with almost 13 million people in it; very modern, very urban, and as Eastern citites go-quite Western. You're not going to be living in a pagoda in the middle of a rice paddy. You'll probably be staying in a Western hotel, all of the staff will speak English, and will be happy to ply you with all the steak and potatoes you could stomach. If you desperately wanted to go to McDonalds, it wouldn't be hard to find one; but why go to McDonalds when you could visit Americatown? It has occured to me (two days later-but I'm all about accuracy around these parts) that they went to Osaka and not to Tokyo. So I guess Americatown is out.

Hell's yeah (my Papelbon moment for the day) it worked!

It's Almost Spring

And....





...Forward.

And...

...Bend.

And...

...Reach.

And...

...Hop.

And...

Yes, I'm excited.

What? What's That? What's That You Say? You Say There Is Some News Today? (Apologies to Shel Silverstein)

I've twice attempted to write something about Matsuzaka's hair after Amelie Benjamin breathlessly informed us that he was wearing a mullet and twice I've deleted my efforts. I've been vacillating between defending him against the charge-I'm fairly certain that it's just the mohawk he was sporting in December (see photo) without the effort or gel required to maintain the style-and whether I was being too mean to her. Also, there was concern that I was spending too much time on baseball players hair anyway.

I suppose I could have written about Youkilis agreeing to a $3 million contract but there really isn't much to say about it. He's a good ball player, just really boring.

I could have written about Beckett appearing to be a little bit fat in the pictures from the Projo yesterday. But that was a can of worms that I wasn't ready to open-not because I feel guilty about making fun of him. A single look at that smug little smirk of his erased any romanticizing I had done of the man during the offseason-it just didn't feel worth mentioning (especially after the way I ripped into Ms. Benjamin regarding the fluff-tastic nature of her writing.)

I had this really brilliant post written in my head about how Pedroia and Manny are cut from the same cloth. The difference between them is that because Pedroia grew up in California he has a little better grasp of the English language and can form slightly more coherent sentences. I never got around to transcribing it, though, and then it was a few days later and less relevant.

I could have written about Wally the Green Monster welcoming a naval ship to shore (and I was tempted because I really like the picture that accompanies the story-here's this character who could have walked off the set of H.R. Pufnstuf and is now manning a battle station. It's very surreal.) but that's really stretching for material.

So what exactly is worth writing about? Is it Roger on Capital Hill desperate for someone to believe him? Not a chance. I've given up caring whether he's a lying bastard or not (at least that's what I'm telling myself.) Is it that despite (or perhaps to spite) this heinous, hideous weather NESN has seen fit to provide us with something damn close to actual baseball coverage tonight? Bingo.

Praise Jebus!

Today is the day, chickens!

Our long, cold winter is coming to an end. The truck departs gray, dreary Boston for the sunny climes of Florida and when they all come back, it'll be spring! It's better than that damn, pessimistic groundhog in Pennsylvania. What does he know anyway? He's a freakin' groundhog-he's got no cognitive abilities, whatsoever.

The weather in Boston today? A high temperature of 39 degrees with afternoon rain/snow showers, 68% humidity, and a southerly wind between four and seven miles per hour.

The weather in Fort Myers two days later? Mostly sunny with a high near 77 degrees, 54% humidity, and an East Northeast wind between five and fourteen miles per hour.

More important than the weather or the impending arrival of spring? Could it be the imminent prospect of actual, honest-to-goodness baseball? Yeah, I think so.

Baseball. The thought of it makes me giddy. Of course, it's also the time of year that people start to give you weird looks. "How can you adore a game that really has nothing to do with you?" they want to know. "What are you talking about? It's a truck loaded with baseball equipment driving down to Florida. What's exciting about that?"




In the fall, either they've gotten used to your obsession or fallen in love with baseball themselves and they can accept your devotion but in the early-early spring, when the roads are icy and you're buried under three feet of snow, only the crazies think about baseball. It's a time when you need to have an explanation for something that is really inexplicable. Trying to explain it satisfactorily here is just as hard as trying to explain it to the uninitiated.




If it weren't too corny, I would say "I live for this" but it is too corny so I won't. It does deserve a woot, though. Woot!

Tickets! Anybody Need Tickets?

If you haven't been able to get tickets yet there are some other options.

1. If you don't mind the flight to Canada, tickets for the Red Sox games in Toronto on April 5 and 6, will be available to Red Sox fans before they are available to the general public.

-Seriously, if I were a Jays fan I imagine that would annoy the hell out of me.

2. If you happen to live in south Florida, are going to be there for spring training, or happen to know someone else who fits those categories, on February 26 the Boys and Girls Club of Lee county will be sponsoring the 3rd Annual Evening with the Red Sox. Part of the event will be an auctioning of the fabulous prize of: 4 green monster tickets to a Sox/Yankees game, airfare, accommodation, and a VIP tour of Fenway.

-I'm thinking of dispatching the 'rents to procure this for me. It's only like a four hour drive from where they live. I don't know what I would do with the airfare and I can see it quickly getting out of my price range but whatever. I've done some stupid things for the Sox.

and lastly,

3. If you don't want to spend the kind of money that would require, the Exeter Area Chamber of Commerce is holding the Ultimate Sports Ticket Raffle. The prize is a pair of Red Sox tickets, a pair of Patriots tickets, a pair of Celtics tickets, a pair of Bruins tickets, four tickets to a University of New Hampshire hockey game, and a limo to two of the games.

-It's a lot of tickets. But if you've only spent $10 on the entry, then you could skip all of the games besides the Red Sox game.

Crap.

You've probably heard. Schill's shoulder is on the outs and it seems likely that he may not be able to pitch next season.

It was nice while it lasted, wasn't it? The feeling that the world was going our way-everything was coming up Red Sox. They were the World Series champions, they brought most of their players back, and other players wanted to come and play in Boston. It was such a nice feeling that I even started to forget my grim, New England-ish outlook on life.

But the baseball gods were having none of it. They smote us for our hubris, they smote us good. Schill was just unfortunate enough to bear the brunt of their ire.

Back in November (when I still remembered how to be a Red Sox fan), I predicted that something bad had to happen to even the score if they re-signed Mike Lowell. I figured that Josh Beckett accidentally shooting himself in the foot would make things even but the gods are fair. Losing Schilling, who managed to come through when it was really needed, makes us (Red Sox fans and the baseball gods) closer to even for managing to keep Lowell.

The sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach is a familiar one. It's the feeling that next season isn't going to be a walk in the park. That it's not going to be easy, in the least. That, in all likelihood, the Red Sox will be lucky to win the wild card.

In all seriousness, Curt has done a lot for this team and I wish him a speedy and complete recovery from the injury.

Johnny Damon is Still a Jackass

Maybe two weeks ago I wrote that the fact that Tim Wakefield still liked Johnny Damon had lessened my distaste for the man. I take it all back.



From the TCPalm:

"When I left Boston, they kind of had a feeling they weren't going to sign me, and they ended up being the third best team in the American League because of it."

Really, Johnny? The reason that the Red Sox finished in third that year was because they decided that they didn't want to sign you. It had nothing to do with that fact that the last two months of 2006 were a return to the Red Sox of yore-they finished the season miserably-and it's likely that not even you, St. Johnny of Kansas, could have pulled them out of it.

"Then last year, they ended up spending $200 million. They went off and got a guy in Daisuke, who's probably the number one pitcher on fifteen other teams. They got a shortstop that not too many people knew a lot about but is a very good player. They added J.D. Drew, who didn't show up until the post-season. They got a kid who probably should've been heir-apparent to me, Jacoby Ellsbury, who came on strong."

Well obviously, the only way that they could replace the awesome-osity that is you, Johnny Damon, was to bring in three new players, none of whom really performed up to expectations during the season, and sign them to big contracts. One Johnny Damon is worth three decent players. But, sweetheart, they'd drafted Jacoby while you were still on the team; unless, they were thinking three years in to the future they didn't draft him to replace you.

"They're not a better team without me. I know that. But that's how baseball goes. One guy leaves, sometimes teams get better because they get to add a few more players."

Oh, for the love of baby otters and all that is good in this world: Get over yourself.

Hu-freakin'-zah!

I know that a man's hair is no reason to hope that he gets a job as a baseball player. But the news that they've brought him back makes me quite happy.

The deal is one year, non-guaranteed, for $800,000 if he makes the major league roster.

The signing means that it's likely that they'll trade Coco (which is sad because he has great hair as well) but Coco deserves more than the fourth-outfielder-type role that he would have been given.

Who's your Daddy?

I don't often agree with a lot of what Curt has to say but this:

"Besides, New York can't gloat, the Giants are from Jersey. This one doesn't count."

made me smile. It may sound petty (and I suppose that, technically, it is) but it's true.

The interview with Curt was in the Herald and he tells us that it's okay to be sad over the Superbowl loss.

"Feel bad, be upset because your team lost. That's what being a fan is supposed to be about. But don't make this personal. And understand that you are living in some pretty damn good times for the sports franchises here in Boston."

Thanks papa Curt. I had forgotten how to be a good sport.

Dustin Brown, no. --

Birth Date: June 19, 1982 in Orange, CA

Height/Weight: 6'0", 200 lb

College: Yavapai Community College

Contract: Minor League Contract

Brown played the majority of his games last season in Portland. There, in 254 at bats, he had 68 hits, struck out 64 times, and walked 28 times. His Batting Average (.268), On Base Percentage (.344), and Slugging average (.453) were all decent. In Pawtucket he didn't fair as well. He played 8 games, struck out 10 times, walked 2 times, and had 5 hits. His Batting Average was only .185, his On Base Percentage was .241, and his Slugging average was .259.

Defensively, in Portland he had 500 put outs and 57 assists. He turned 6 double plays. He had 15 passed balls and was charged with 5 errors. In Pawtucket, he had 60 put outs and 5 assists. He turned 1 double play. He had 5 passed balls and was charged with 1 error.

The scouting report says that he is an excellent defensive catcher and calls a good game. He has a very strong arm and a decent bat. He also has good plate discipline but can be a streaky hitter. He's athletic but not particularly quick.

He played in the Arizona Fall League this past autumn and he's expected to begin in Pawtucket next year. Catchers are generally late bloomers so there are probably good things in his future.

Clay Buchholz, no. 61

Birth Date: August 14, 1984 in Nederland, TX
Height/Weight: 6'3", 191 lb.
College: Angelina Junior College
Contract: League Minimum

To be filed under: You Learn Something New Everday: There were a lot of Germans who settled in Texas. I knew there were Germans in Pennsylvania and in upstate New York but I didn't know about Texas.

Around here, German surnames are a rarity-you'll run across an occasional Snyder or Holt-but Eurpean last names, on the whole, tend to be Anglo, or Italian, or French, or possibly Polish. My guess is that few people in New England would have real trouble with Saltalamacchia but Buchholz really throws us for a loop.

Buchholz threw in 4 major league games last season, one of which was his no-hitter. Clearly way too small of a sample size to be of any use (just going on those numbers he's projected to be a 29 game winner), but the numbers are impressive: Over 22.7 innings, he struck out 22 players, gave up 14 hits, and walked 10. He had 8 starts in Pawtucket, where he struck out 55 players, gave up 32 hits, and walked 13. His Earned Run Average was kind of high at 3.96. In Portland, his ERA was a stunning 1.77 and his WHIP was only .89.

The kid has amazing stuff-he has a four seam fastball in the low to mid ninties, a two seam fastball that runs from the high eighties to the low ninties, a straight changup that runs from the high seventies to the low eighties, a circle changeup, a curveball that runs from the high seventies to the low eighties, and an average slider that sits in the low to mid-eighties. He is a little guy and he's struggled with consistency in the past but he has the potential to be very, very good.