You're So Vain.

Jon Lester is a pretty serious guy. He seems dour, humorless, and to be a man of few words. I would feel perfectly comfortable calling him boring. He does nothing to dispel that image in the pop culture grid of last week's Sports Illustrated. His answers are uninspired but completely believable.

I can imagine him steadfastly refusing to read the headlines of the tabloids while waiting in line at the grocery store. Of course he can cook salmon: he's from Washington, baked salmon is ridiculously easy, and it tastes terrible. It's the perfect food for Jon Lester. Dustin Pedroia doesn't shut up, Mike Lowell works on a more fabulous level than Lester and, therefore, Lester can't read Lowell. And he can't think of one thing good or interesting about himself.

But wait! Here's an interesting answer: Jacoby Ellsbury spends too much time looking at himself in the mirror. Ellsbury's mom would have you believe that her son is a good boy; that he didn't have a girlfriend in high school. I do believe his mother; he son's features, while exotic around here would be fairly common on a reservation. But I also believe Lester that the attention may have gone to Ellsbury's head.