The Mean Streets of Minneapolis.

This one may be a week old but it's still too good to let fall by the wayside. Babe-in-the-woods, Happy Masterson describing an evening out in Minneapolis:

"Went to eat at Applebee’s and a group of girls invited me to their table by buying me a water. I said "Thanks, but not thanks." Got hit on while I was walking by a gay bar and then as I turned the corner there was what seemed to be a homeless women trying to bum a smoke off me. Of course, I don’t carry cigarettes on my person, so I told her I didn’t and she then went on to give me the good game booty pat. That caught me off guard. And then she continued to speak in a bit of drunken stupor of how she wished that I was her man."

First off all, do they charge for water at Applebee's? Because if they don't (and really even if they do), Masterson's chickadees may want to work on their seduction technique. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that "Why don't you come over here? We've got water." has never been a successful come on.