Dear Santa: Part the Fifth.

As I see it, one of the truths of the holiday season is that people seem compelled to throw fancy parties. We invite people into our homes--friends, family, neighbors, co-workers--people for whom we wouldn't make any extra effort any other time of the year but at Christmas-time we dress up for them. We make them roasts. We serve them expensive wines and fancy appetizers. The more confident among us attempt complicated desserts, the rest of us go to the bakery. China that was stored away on January 2 is dusted off and makes its annual appearance at the end of November. We chat for a few hours, reminisce, catch-up and them send them on their merry way, fat and happy. If we are going to host these expensive shin-digs, then what better way could there be to protect the wood of your credenza while they're going on than with a winter-themed Boston Red Sox table runner?

Bits and Pieces: Twinies.

Two little pieces of news on look-alikes Jason Bay and Jed Lowrie today.

Jed Lowrie has (presumably) returned home to Oregon for the holiday. While there, he stopped by his old middle school to participate in an assembly in his honor.

The Canadian Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum (who knew that such a place existed?) gives out the Tip O'Neil Award to the best Canadian player in professional baseball and among those being considered? Jason Bay. Bay took home the award twice before in 2004 and 2005. The public is encouraged to vote (they didn't make it very easy though.) The award will be announced on December 12.

Spring Ahead! (Really. It's true.)

Turkey and Cranberry Sauce? Forget it. Visions of sugar plums? Hardly. Break out the sunglasses, the Red Sox released their spring training schedule today.

The first game is on February 25 against the Twins. Then it's a month filled with the Pirates, Tampa Bay, the Reds, the Orioles, the Marlins, the Cards, the Yanks, the Jays, the Phils, the Tigers, and the Braves (with some repeats in there.) The final Florida game is against the Twins on April 2. They then play two in Queens on April 3 and 4, before jetting back home to open the season at Fenway on April 6 against Tampa Bay.

It's an occasion that requires the ubiquitous: Woot!

H-O-. You Callin' Me a Ho?

The online auction for David Ortiz's Celebrity Golf Classic has opened. The man has arranged for some truly fabulous lots. They range from the more ordinary--signed bats and balls (I really might bid for Coco's shoes-I was considering dropping a lot of cash on a shirt that he had worn but shoes? I love shoes!) to the more ritzy--vacations, play golf with Mark Wahlberg, learn to pitch from Jonathan Papelbon type prizes. The one that really caught my eye? Play a game of HORSE with David and Ray Allen.

It'd be terribly unfair and I'm pretty sure I could predict the winner right now. Let's see: Two giant men, at least one of whom is very good at basketball, and me. Yeah, that would be a short game. I had such a crush on Ray Allen when he was at UCONN, though. It would probably be a lot of fun even if it only took a few minutes for me to lose.

The bidding closes on December 5.

Here's a Story 'Bout a Man Named Werner.

The Brady Center to Prevent Gun Violence honored Red Sox chairman Tom Werner on November 9th by giving him the Sarah Brady Visionary Award at their Target for a Safe America Gala. He was given the honor because of his financial support of their effort to keep guns out of the hands of criminals by creating sensible gun laws. It's certainly a worthy cause. Congratulations to him.

Dear Santa: Goes Fourth.

Look Ma! Just like the pros wear!

You too can be the proud owner of Red Sox Crocs. Terrorized by nightmares of the galoshes your mother used to make you wear in the spring and concerned that sticking your feet in rubber shoes will once again return them to that hot, sweaty state? Fear not. The good folks at Crocs have addressed this concern by selling their product replete with holes for both cooling and wafting away the odor caused by foot-sweat.

Worried that they are clunky, hideously ugly shoes? Psshaw. They're all the rage (or, at least, they were a couple of years ago.) Don't let naysayer-fashionistas prevent you from enjoying these lovely shoes.

Happy Birthday Jonathan!

One year ago I wished Jonathan Papelbon a happy twenty-seventh birthday and embarked on this silly birthday project. Having come full circle, Papelbon turns twenty-eight today. He's an idiot and an odd-duck but I love him dearly. So, here's to a continually healthy shoulder, the safe arrival of the bambinos, and a return to dominance to 2009.

I don't recall where I found the scan from Papelbon's high school yearbook (I did edit out the girl though--seemed like the right thing to do.) Those are quite the duds though.

Also, I just wanted to point out that I didn't forget about Jeff Bailey (he turned thirty on 11/19), I just didn't have anything to say. And since I probably won't bother with Jonathan Van Every, he turns twenty-nine on Thanksgiving. Happy birthday and many happy returns to both of them.