For all I know, Matt Garza could be the nicest guy ever. He may embody all of the good things in the world. I have heard things in that vein about him. People who have met him seem to think that he's a nice guy. And at one point last season, they showed him psyching himself up for a game by very enthusiastically rocking out his own self with an imaginary drum kit to whatever was playing on his IPod and it was kinda adorable. But I can't get behind the idea of good-natured Matt Garza.
He spits too much to be a nice guy. One would think he'd be creating hazardous working conditions with the trail of phlegm he leaves in his wake. Someone might slip. And since, short of actual damage to his salivary glands, no one could produce that much spit out of necessity, the spitting must be malicious. He must intend for his opponents to step on a loogie, lose their footing, and go crashing to the ground.
Y'hear that Josh Beckett? You can't let this guy and his tricky, slimy ways beat you. Not tonight.
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