Announcement.

According to my brother's Wii, I can throw a fastball at ninety-six miles per hour. Since this would almost certainly hold up to real life conditions, I have decided to forgo my career in favor of becoming a pitcher. I feel that I have learned enough from various baseball video games to overcome my lack of actual experience and am expecting an offer any day now.

And here's another thing in a long line of things that Dustin Pedroia likely doesn't shut up about. He has been tapped to be the coverboy for the newest edition of MLB: The Show.

The interview with ESPN talks mostly about different aspects of the video game but Pedroia seems unable to give a boring interview.

Regarding the epic-ness of this endorsement deal:

"I've had some signing deals, but this is the one that's just so fun. I can't wait to walk into a store and see a game with me on the cover."

What, Dustin's Training Facility wasn't fun? And what about the new one? Helping kids learn to save money isn't fun?

On how to get him out:

"I play a lot of Rock Band, but all my friends, they play a lot of the baseball game. And I'll be honest, when I played them last year, they really put a whooping on me. I'm not very good. The slow curve ball followed by a high fast ball just messes me up every time."

Even when he tries to be humble and self-effacing it comes off as hilarious. I seem to remember that at one of the charity auctions they held last year, though, the prize that Dustin offered was the opportunity to play Guitar Hero with him.

He also claims to be good at the drums:

"I'm getting pretty good on the drums..."

But having seen his rhythmic ability in his dancing, I'm going to call hubris on that one.

On being in the minor leagues:

"But I remember some pretty funny moments from back in the minors as I was working my way up. They used to have this character who would run up to the first base coach, eat him, then spit him out."

I can't even begin to fathom what this could possibly mean. Although a second reading of the quote does reveal that the word is 'character' not 'catcher'. So a mascot, maybe? It doesn't actually sound funny, unless you're like seven-years-old. Although a catcher who attempted to cannibalize his first base coach with every base hit and the first base coach's reaction to the encounter would be amusing.

This one cracked me up. On which character he played as growing up:

"I was a Giants fan, so I always wanted to be Barry Bonds. I know it's a little different, me saying that and being a small second baseman, but I always wanted to be Bonds and try to hit long bombs like he did."

Stop laughing. He's not going to like it if you laugh at him.