Pssst.

I don't know how it happened, John Lackey. Personally, I've never been a fan. (Although, lately I have grown to admire the fact that you seem to believe that you've never thrown a pitch that wasn't a strike. You could throw a pitch that sailed wide and smacked your third baseman in the chest and you would still want that call. People would be running over to check on Youkilis, who would undoubtedly be stunned and doubled over, and you would be standing there glaring and panting at the umpire because he had the gall to not call that pitch a strike.) Perhaps, you didn't kowtow enough to the media because it appears that you have somehow become persona non grata.

Evidence: When the Rob Bradford (and his OMG! desire to be besties with the baseball players) approved [Aside: I don't actually know that he's approved the article but if you get a chance to take a shot at Bradford and 'EEI, you should absolutely take it.] 'EEI blog makes fun of you--and I'm assuming that they're making fun of you because whenever I included the 'for sure', it was to make fun of you--something has gone terribly wrong.

But, Lackey pitched pretty well down in Pawtucket: 5 2/3 innings, 4 strike outs, 1 earned. He should be ready to come back on Sunday. Joy.

Pathetic.

(AP Photo)

Alright, boyos. Perhaps you're like my mother and this whole thing is an effort to be nice: Losing teams win so rarely, so it's nice of you to allow them to win. Maybe you're more like my brother and think, "This should be easy" and so can't be bothered to put any effort into trying to win, just assuming that you will. Whichever your motivation: Enough is enough.

Because, pigeons, you have a stunningly fantastic inability to beat crap teams. It's impressive really; the teams you're supposed to beat if you're going to be a contender, well those teams just have their way with you. They can literally manhandle and abuse you and you just stand there with a slightly bemused expression on your face and do nothing about it.

I can't imagine how much losing teams must look forward to Boston coming into town. The Baltimore's, KC's, and Chicago's of the world must throw themselves a little party every time yo guys come up on the schedule. They've got to know that they stand a good chance of winning two out of three or even sweeping the series.

It's really rather pitiable.

Let No One Ignorant of Geometry Enter.

(AP Photo)

Good on ya, Wake. It wasn't the prettiest outing but it was more than sufficient.

You have to wonder if the strike zone being shaped more like a dodecahedron than a rectangle is more of a benefit for Wake than other pitchers. As a hitter you're not going to be certain that the pitch coming out of Wake's hand is going to be a rulebook strike and then you have to wonder if the pitch will find the particular pockets of strike-iness or ball-iness of the umpire's strike zone. So you swing at pitches that you shouldn't because you don't have a choice and make generally bad contact.

Of course, the same could be said for a conventional pitcher. But it seems as if even the most mercurial of strike zones, can sort of be established concretely for most pitchers. With Wake, however, I think that the element of nobody-knows-where-the-hell-that-pitch-is-going-to-end-up adds a peculiar hitch to the deciding whether to swing or not process.

Fun game, though, even if they only plated six runs. (Slackers.) I've come to really enjoy Carl Crawford but I think that his home may have really been in the AL Central.

Doggone.

Adrian Gonzalez has a dog. That's nice. I like dogs. It's a poodle. Oh? Well, you know when they're not shaved, poodles aren't bad looking dogs. Maybe a little high strung but not bad dogs. It's a miniature poodle, weighs all of four pounds. Huh. Really? Its name...wait for it....is Princess.

Tim the Enchanter.

(Getty Images)

Well done Timmy! Wakey versus the National League is by far the best part (and possibly the only good part) of interleague play. If they abolished interleague, I would miss those couple of games.

In addition, it was certainly a nice way to end a very successful home stand. Let's hope that they can keep the ball rolling against Happy tomorrow.

The Big Spot.

(AP Photo)

Carl Crawford needs a better name. In your best Hub, Carl is too long and too soft to chant and Crawford doesn't work because the "-fid" is awkward. His teammates refer to him as CC but if you start going CCCCCCCCCCC, how do you know when you've got an appropriate number of C's? You can hear it on the broadcast: try as they might, the Fenway crowd just can't figure a way to cheer him on.

If you could teach everyone to say Carl with an R, then you could do "Carl Crawford" to the "Let's go, Red Sox" chant but that seems very formal. I personally would nominate "CDC"; it's forceful and fits into "Beat L.A." so nobody would have to learn anything.

If the man keeps coming up big when the team needs him the most, he definitely needs something more than just "Woooo!"

The Band Played On.

(AP Photo)

Rain Delay? What'dya talkin' about? We could so play through this. Bunch of wimps.

Being a sturm und drang sort of soul, I've always loved the rain. When I was growing up we had a tin roof on the old homestead and I loved just lying in bed listening to the rain. I love a good thunderstorm, especially when a thunder clap breaks relatively close to you and resonates in your guts. I love running in the rain because you look like a real bad ass. Plus, I have a very stylish umbrella.

If, however, this deluge were to let up for just a little bit, I don't think that I would mind.

Zeus willing, tonight's match up of Verlander at Beckett should be a good one.