Dougie Out.

Awww, Doug. This shouldn't make me as sad as it does. I know that he's a crap baseball player. He's slow and old. He can't hit to save his life. But it does make me sad. I'll miss him. He seems like a good guy; full of good humour. His teammates all seemed to like him.

Besides, which player other than Dougie could possibly make Beckett respond like this?

If only he'd gotten his home run against the Twins, then maybe he wouldn't be in this situation. Still $150,000 isn't a bad paycheck to receive for less than a month of work. Good luck to you in the future, Doug.

Doug Mirabelli, no. 28

Because Wednesday is Prince spaghetti night (I swear it made sense in my head. Also, it turns out that his middle name is Anthony, so there you go.)

Birth Date: October 18, 1970 in Kingman, AZ

Height/Weight: 6'1", 205 lbs.

College: Wichita State University

Contract: Though not yet official, word is: he'll get $550,000 for the year.

Aww, Doug. When I apologized to you I meant only that I was wrong for implying that your job was easy. I didn't mean that all was forgiven and that you should go out and ink a new deal. We still have the problems of your general inability to hit the ball and your (at best) average defensive play to deal with.

Mirabelli's Batting Average for last season was just .202, which is getting down into pitcher territory. He had 23 hits and struck out 41 times (almost 36%). He walked 11 times. All of which led to his On Base Percentage being a minuscule .278. Aided by only 8 extra base hits (3 doubles and 5 home runs) his Slugging average topped out at only .360. His On-base Plus Slugging was, therefore, only .638.

His Fielding Percentage is slightly better than league average (.995 compared to .991). He had 194 put outs, 19 assists, 4 double plays and was charged with only 1 error. He also had 6 Passed Balls. His Range Factor this past season (6.55), however, was below the league average (7.28). It's the first time since the 2000 season that his RF9, as a catcher, has been below the league average.

I suppose the fact that defensively he's nearly a league average catcher when he catches almost exclusively for a knuckleballer is impressive. And I suppose that he is only the backup catcher and as such being league average is pretty good. Tim Wakefield likes him and I like Wakefield, so I should probably find it in my heart to be nice to Doug. It's hard though; it's much more fun to poke fun at him. He does have a sense of humor, according to Schilling.

Next season, who knows? He is 37. I wouldn't expect too much from him offensively. He might be able to pick things up if he lost some weight though. Defensively, I suppose it depends on how well Wake's shoulder holds up next season and if he can manage to keep himself healthy, as well.

Wakefield and Mirabelli: Hand-in-hand?

First, I just thought it was important to point out how much Theo looks like George Clooney in the above picture.

More Importantly: I wasn't going to post anything about potential trade rumors. They're just rumors and by the awesome power of my mind I might make a seemingly bad deal come true, so it would be better to just shut up about it. That being said: Since Wakefield is in, does that mean that Mirabelli is in as well?

There must be someone better out there. Someone who could put up some offense would be the way to go. In the words of David Ortiz, "Theo, do it!"

How hard can catching a ball be, anyway? This, coming from the gal who if a ninety-mile-an-hour baseball was hurled at her head would probably let out an "Eep!" and get the hell out of the way. And if, by some miracle, I did manage to hold my ground and catch it, I would probably end up knocked over by the impact of the ball. We are, of course, ignoring the fact that, due to my lack of height, I probably wouldn't be anywhere near any major leaguer's strike zone (T-ball might be a possibility, if they had a need for catchers) and the only pitches that wouldn't go soaring over my head (and into the umpire) would be breaking balls in the dirt.

I decided long ago that I wasn't tough enough for baseball. True story: When my brother was in Little League, we (my brother, my mother, and myself) used to go out to the backyard and practice fielding. My mother would pitch, I would bat, and my brother would field. I was pretty good, I could pull the ball in different directions and such; it was my mom pitching though, so they weren't difficult pitches to hit. Anyway, one day she hit me with a pitch (I think she thought I was crowding the plate) and I was done. Haven't played since.

Just for reference and who couldn't use a little George to brighten their day?