Cherubs They Are Not.

You know what? It's late. I'm all jazzed up. And I can be as shallow and as petty as I want.

Later today the Angels roll out Jered Weaver to pitch game 2. Their second entrant in the ugliest starting pitcher contest. I don't think he holds a candle to Hapsburg-jawed, under bite possessor, pointy toothed, tiny eyed, moley, mouth breathing, whiny Lackey but he's a valid entrant. Seriously, who does Weaver's hair? Why does he think a shoulder length bob is a good look, especially when he has hair that thick? I'd have to guess that he cuts it himself because I can't imagine any respectable hair stylist steering him in that direction. And he's got a big nose and thin lips. Their least likely pitcher to win the contest would have to be the moon-faced Pole, Scott Kazmir (I'm just guessing that he's Polish but he looks like any number of my uncles who are all very Polish looking) but he tips the scales more toward plain than in the least bit good looking.

The Angels are truly an ugly-ass squad all around though. Awhile back when I tried to come up with a list of the best looking players in the American League, the best I could do for the Angels was Torii Hunter. But it turns out that Hunter has an ugly soul--despite the fact that he and David are supposed to be really good friends, when David was accused of steroid use, Hunter dropped him like a hot potato (Who would have ever guessed that David would have a better friend in Nomar than in Hunter?)--and he's an idiot--Hunter invested $70,000 in a scheme to make rafts to float furniture during floods. You can't be a jerk and an idiot and good looking at the same time. It's impossible.

And that was mostly my point, to rant about Torii Hunter betraying David and being an ass. I feel better now.