At First I Was Afraid.

I was petrified.

One of the most stupid things about baseball is that the coaches wear uniforms. It's goofy. But when Terry Francona had had enough of these numbskulls that felt that he needed to up and quit, it occurred to me that he might have been the only one left on this team that I still liked. They were dark days. I might not have agreed with some of the moves/non-moves he made (and bunting is still stupid) but how can you possibly hope to replace the greatest manager this team has had?

But Theo? Theo's easily replaceable.

Don't get me wrong. I liked Theo. Mostly. 2004 and 2007 were wonderful years and changed the fabric of a region but Theo's no longer the best GM in baseball. Hell, he wasn't even the best GM in his division last season. Beyond Friedman, you could make a solid argument--as much as it would pain me to do so--for Anthopoulos up in Toronto.

When Epstein got his job, he was new and different. He shook things up and most importantly was successful. But success breeds imitators and now you can practically pick up a Theo Epstein in your corner store. The way that he runs a baseball team is generally a recipe for success but Theo's eleven herbs and spices were revealed to the baseball watching public long ago.

As such, it's probably time for some new blood; time for someone less likely to be suffering from GM-block. (It's like writer's block. Trust me.) So bring on Cherington. May his head be filled with innovative ways to gain a competitive edge.

And best of luck (and a hearty thank you) to Theo in Chicago. I've said that if Boston can't win the World Series, then it would be nice if the Cubs could win and I still believe that (even if you did abandon ship at an inopportune time).

One and Done.

Yesterday our fantastic starting rotation drove off Curt Young. His main mis-step seems to have been expecting grown men to act like grown men and do what they were being paid millions of dollars to do instead of acting like surly teenagers.

It's no great loss, I guess. While both Bot and Beckett had strong years, it was the pitching that failed them in the end. And he seemed to be unable to do anything to fix the problem when Albers and Bard stumbled. Annoying, though.

So Curt goes back to Oakland and whoever the new manager is gets to pick out his own pitching coach.

Catching Up.

(AP Photo)

Congratulations go out to David Ortiz for winning this year's Roberto Clemente award. David certainly does more than his part for the community and it's a nice change of pace (although he wasn't immune from throwing his own little temper tantrum this summer) from the recent stories of immaturity emerging from Yawkey Way.

I'm not loving the shiny black suit with the maroon shirt, though: the jacket looks too much like a tuxedo and just doesn't go with maroon.

Abadoning Ship.

Word on the street is that Theo has also had enough of Boston and is ready to pack up the kiddo and move to a place where a cake pan is an appropriate dish in which to bake pizza.

It seems like poor form: he saddles his team with more than a couple of disastrous free agent signings, trades away the team's best prospects for a first baseman, who while good, didn't turn out to be the elite player he was supposed to be, and leaves behind a clubhouse full of pissy, malcontent, drunken losers who have already frightened off the best manager that this team has seen in the modern era. It's like he's thrown up his hands and said "I can't fix this."

But best of luck to him, should he move one.

The Morning After.

The season that (with the exception of the first dozen games or so) started out so promisingly, came to a crashing halt last night. Your average sportswriter will gleefully write about historic collapses but this season wasn't lost in September. The season was lost with the torn ligament in Daisuke's elbow and a broken back for Clay Buchholz. (Someone really ought to have warned that little girl with the stripper name about the hazards of stepping on lines.)

Now, there were some good things that happened. Josh Beckett, despite being a surly, insufferably rude jackass, pitched better than he had the previous season. With the exception of last night, Jonathan Papelbon had a good season. And Jacoby Ellsbury (it's a real shame that he's been co-opted by the fangirls and I can't like him) had a terrific season. Matt Albers pitched well until he turned back into Matt Albers. David had a pretty good year. And Freddy was a god-send.

But: Bobby Jenks was useless, except for when he was being worse than useless. Carl Crawford was disappointing. Even Adrian Gonzalez failed to live up to expectations.

Kyle Weiland pitched a lot, given what he showed. Andrew Miller had an exceptionally long leash for a guy who, at times, couldn't throw a strike to save his life. Erik Bedard was...as advertised, so you can't fault him for that.

John Lackey had another rough year. JD Drew barely played this season and wasn't very good when he did. And Kevin Youkilis gave up walking in favor of striking out.

No doubt that this was a failure. But an epic collapse? In August this club was clinging to the cliff by their bloodied fingernails and in September their nails finally snapped off and down they went.

Losing Losers Who Lose.

So. That happened.

Heh. Last night I wrote a long melancholy post about failure and losers and all sorts of sad, depressing things. Then my Internet went on the fritz and when it came back up this morning, all that was saved was: the title and So. That happened. And it seems just right.

Not Dead Yet.

When you win by eighteen runs it doesn't count for more than winning by a single run with the tying run in scoring position, so good enough boys. One can always hope, of course, for a more definitive ass-kicking of the Orioles tonight.

You, my best beloveds, are the Boston Red Sox. No reason to be ashamed of it. No reason to take pity on the Orioles. Be the Boston Red Sox. Play like the Boston Red Sox and everything will *finger crossed* *knock wood* *spin around counter-clockwise three times while hopping on your left leg* turn out alright. Hopefully.