Giuoco Piano.

Here's my new theory: People say that Joe Maddon and Tony LaRussa are geniuses (and they obviously believes it about themselves) but Terry Francona is a friggin grandmaster.

His opening gambit in this series was very passive; almost to the point where it looked like he wasn't making any effort to win baseball games. You see: for this strategy he couldn't let Tampa sweep the series but he really didn't want his team to win more than one. Right now Tampa is feeling really good about themselves and is flying down to New York for a four game series in which they will try to beat the Yankees in Yankee Stadium.

Meanwhile, Baltimore is also coming into town for a four game series. And while Baltimore is paying lip service to their games being important and saying that they have some say in how the race turns out, they are still, fundamentally, Baltimore.

But Francona has his team lying in the weeds. And as long as Boston suddenly remembers how to play and win at baseball, he's positioned them perfectly to make their move. If Tampa wins or splits the series in New York, then the division is still up for grabs. If New York wins or sweeps, it'd be like handing Boston the wild card.

If they can beat Baltimore, it's really very brilliant.

And you thought that starting Conor Jackson in left and the repeated use of Matt Albers (apologies to Messrs. Jackson and Albers) was a joke.

And Now A Word From Josh Beckett.

Without, you know, the whole going down with the ship thing. That would be the last thing that they'd need.

I've got this image of Josh Beckett strutting out there tonight, bellowing, and then spiking the rosin bag. It would be very dramatic and highly amusing.

Yuck.

Well, ducklings. I wonder: do you ever get tired of getting your collective asses handed to you by this team?

Can't hit, can't field, and can't pitch. It's certainly not much of a recipe for success. I haven't given up on the thought of the post-season simply because Tampa still has seven games against New York (and as much as it pains me to say it, the Yankees are a far far better team than you at the moment) while you are playing the Orioles (although, I'm not entirely sure that a little league team wouldn't give you a run for your money the way you're playing right now) but it's really difficult to believe that this is a team that could possibly do anything.

Let's hope that Theo's lame duck of a team has more of a shot at revival than Theo's duck in Pippin.

200.

(Getty Images)

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Rumble.

So it's come to this, huh? If you're going to make me invoke the magic of Lenny and West Side Story, I'll do it. I won't like it but I'll do it.

No pressure or anything but Wake? We need Tim the Enchanter tonight. We need knuckleballs that skip and fall and confound the hitters. We need strike outs and weak contact. And since, for the most part, the bullpen can't be trusted, we need efficiency: quick outs, and easy innings.

And dearest bats, I hope that you had a nice day off. Remember when, not to long ago, you were the best offense in the American League? Wasn't that fun? Let's have some more of that today.

Win one for Timmy today.

Doom And/Or Gloom

"I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night."

Alright, boys. I'm just going to save myself the time and trouble and assume that this is some sort of Mets-ian collapse you've got in the works rather than the late August-early September swoon that I had originally assumed it to be. I feel that this will save me a lot of needless frustration as you stumble your way down to third place. But it's been fun and I don't regret spending my summer with you.

Prove me wrong, boyos.

The Shrinking Bard Adown the Alley Skulks.

I don't care about losing to the Toronto Blue Jays. When I think about the Blue Jays (and I admit to their existence completely slipping my mind on more than one occasion) it's usually with a sense of apathy. They're in the same class as the Royals or the Mariners or the Athletics: they're certainly there but whatever or the real word equivalent (because I can't think of it) of meh. Their fans are Canadians (useless, pointless people) so that's certainly a strike against them but they've been terrible since before Tim Wakefield joined this team. So who cares?

But the loss hurts though because tonight was about Timmy. And the way that that went down was just really rotten.

Dan Wheeler I could (and did) yell at: "Come on! When did you graduate from high school? You're not that old and Wakey's been around forever. You must've rooted for him at some point. Do it for Wake." (It was 1996)

But Daniel Bard clearly has no concept of how long and how hard Wake has worked to get to this point; the way he's dealt with utter nonsense with quiet grace and dignity. Tim Wakefield is a true gentleman and a genuinely good person; a rarity among baseball players--certainly the only one on his team. If Daniel Bard understood, then he would have figured out a way to pitch better. This may be petty but I was glad the Matty Bumpo allowed those runs in: Wakey may not have deserved the win but Bard certainly deserved the loss.

Perhaps things will be different next time, if there is a next time.

The title is from Robert Burns' Epistle from Esopus to Maria.