Good Times.

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Robert Scott (Congratulations. You've made me look up your middle name.) not good, buddy. I think it's only fair that Wakey gets to ping pennies off your head for an hour or so.

And while he's at it Timmy should feel free to chuck a couple at Francona, as well. I do try to not be one of those people who criticizes every move the manager makes: clearly, the man knows a lot more than I do. But what the hell kind of a hook was that?

But more importantly, Carl! Wonderful my liebchen!

Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit.

Alright boys. April is over and now it's time to turn the page, or turn over a new leaf, or whatever you want to call it. May has got to be better right? Also, it's true: I won't be happy until you've won, so you'd better get on that. Thank you.

John and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Offense.

What a sad, frustratingly pathetic, impotent showing that was. I don't even know what to say; other than, of course, They're the Mariners. What is wrong with you?

I haven't watched the pregame show in ages, so I was all excited when I turned the game on and Eck was the announcer because that's generally a lot of fun but then the first inning happened and then the second inning happened and then the third inning happened and then the fourth inning happened and then the fifth inning happened and then the sixth inning happened and then the seventh inning happened and then the eighth inning happened and then the ninth inning happened and nothing good happened. It really took the wind out of my sails.

Apologies to John Lackey, because undoubtedly the bums he hangs around with won't say it, you pitched well enough. It's unfortunate.

April Come She Will.

But, frankly, she can't go fast enough.

Fine, boys. Win tomorrow, finish up April on a positive note, and then hope like crazy for a better May. Undoubtedly, this was a disappointing way to start the season but it really can only get better. Right?

Mike Cameron, I loved you to bits before today but congratulations on becoming my new favorite.

Robert, I have my eye on you.

Resurrection.

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Not to put the cart before the horse or anything, but that was a lot of fun.

Casting Call.

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We here at Rain Delay Theater are in the midst of casting a production of Hamlet for this summer's season. Daisuke Matsuzaka was in serious contention for the title character but if he continues to pitch the way he pitched tonight, he may have to forfeit the role.

There was very little indecision on his part. There was no mucking about walking batters. There was just effective pitching. And perhaps most telling, it was a west coast game that started at night--albeit a little bit earlier than usual--and the game is over, even though it's not yet midnight.

Stunning job.

Angels in the Outfield.

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I'm not particularly maternal but had Bobby Jenks seen the look and heard the tone of the "Robert." that I leveled at my television set today, maybe that wouldn't have happened. But a win is a win and when you manage to win despite yourself, that must qualify as an extra special win.

Good on ya, Pap. That wasn't half bad.