Bitch, Please.

So Tampa likes to portray itself as a model organization. And with holy Joe Maddon, the keeper of all that is good and right in baseball, a modern-day St. Sebastian crusading tirelessly against all of the baddies in the game (except for when his players are caught cheating because then it's cool), how could they not be?

But then you have the person who runs the team Twitter account. I can see who this person was in high school: hanging out at the edge of the group, trying to be cool, trying desperately to fit in, and not succeeding. The other day, said individual butted in on the David smashes a telephone incident--uncomfortable for everyone. And tonight we get:

Dear @RedSox scoreboard operator - your standings are wrong. Yours truly, @RaysBaseball.
— Tampa Bay Rays (@RaysBaseball) July 30, 2013

My response to the nastiness varied from "Good for you for pointing out that the game shouldn't be over yet." to a rant that would make a sailor blush.

At first glance, I thought that Boston was taking the high road in their response. But this is a thing of beauty, a stunningly gorgeous subtle take down. Makes you proud.

Don't worry @raysbaseball we look forward to seeing you in Tampa in September for our home games at the Trop.
— Boston Red Sox (@RedSox) July 30, 2013

How d'ya like dem apples?

Fumbling Toward Ecstasy.

Nuts.

Crappy base running. Crappy umpiring. Crappy loss.

Please be better tomorrow.

Zombie.

Well, possums. What can you say?

This team hasn't been able to beat Baltimore in the longest time but this is Scott Feldman. He may have pulled off a magic trick in Chicago but you know better. Win tonight because the Yankees already lost.

Nothing Lasts Forever.

 (Getty Images)

But Dustin Pedroia will be in a Red Sox uniform until 2021.

Good for him. Good for the club.

Too Darn Hot.

Boo.

I mean I suppose I should care: there's little that annoys me more than losing to the Yankees but I just can't bring myself to be too worked up about it. Just win tomorrow.

Welcome.

So last night word came out that Cherington had traded for Matt Thornton. Maybe not the most exciting bit of news but, used correctly, he could be useful to a bullpen that is not living up to expectations. Mostly I just wanted to use the song.

Charming.

You didn't think I'd actually be able to not watch, did you?

Anyway.

All hail the mighty Mariners. Jon Lester was his usual crap-tastic self and the bullpen did him no favors but when faced with a lineup like the Mariners have, what are you going to do? They're gonna score some runs. It's just who they are.

Other than Aaron Cook's game last season, it's hard to remember the last time that Boston played well in Seattle. At least New York and Baltimore already lost. Hey! That's something to like about west coast games.

Wonders Never Cease.

I'm not sure if I made the fact that I hate west coast games clear but it's true. They're the worst.

It turns out, however, that when you've got Daniel Nava playing center field, it's easy to appreciate the fact that the game is being played past your bedtime and you really shouldn't be watching it because you have to go to work tomorrow and if you're late the boss will be super mad. So really just turn it off. It'll be okay.

There's No Cure Like Travel.

You win some. You lose some. And some you give away like candy on Halloween.

There should be more of an effort to win games where the opposing starting pitcher probably ties his hair in an ponytail and then hacks it off with a bowie knife. Just saying.

I hate west coast trips. I hate games that start at ten at night and I hate watching losses that occur at one thirty in the morning.

But whattcha gonna do?